Straight Sex is best Sex

Have vaginal orgasm and be happy

Having a penis-vaginal orgasm rather than just clitoral stimulation or masturbation results in a better life.

Researchers studied over 1,200 women in Sweden and found that vaginal orgasm resulted in greater satisfaction with sex life, mental health, relationships with partners and friends, and life in general. Additionally these women had greater sexual desire and less recent masturbation.

Better sex life was also associated with their first sexual orgasm being from intercourse rather than masturbation.

Vaginal orgasms were not the result of partner masturbation or cunnilingus.

It seems that straight sex, penis - vagina is still the best sex. Other ways of having an orgasm, at least for women, are OK but not as satisfying.

Stuart Brody, Vaginal orgasm is associated with better psychological function. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, Volume 22, Issue 2 May 2007 , pages 173 - 191

What do you think?

See also;

• Sensual Massage
• Womens Sexual Arousal

The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensable Resource for Pleasure and Seduction by Barbara Keesling Read more about this title...

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Twelve Steps

 

1. We admitted we were powerless over sex and love addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to sex and love addicts, and to practice these principles in all areas of our lives.

Reprinted for Adaptation by Permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

S.L.A.A. Preamble

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition-oriented fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous.

The only qualification for S.L.A.A. membership is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. S.L.A.A. is supported entirely through the contributions of its membership, and is free to all who need it.

To counter the destructive consequences of sex and love addiction we draw on five major resources:

• Sobriety. Our willingness to stop acting out in our own personal bottom-line addictive behavior on a daily basis.
• Sponsorship / Meetings. Our capacity to reach out for the supportive fellowship within S.L.A.A.
• Steps. Our practice of the Twelve Step program of recovery to achieve sexual and emotional sobriety.
• Service. Our giving back to the S.L.A.A. community what we continue to freely receive.
• Spirituality. Our developing a relationship with a Power greater than ourselves which can guide and sustain us in recovery.

As a fellowship S.L.A.A. has no opinion on outside issues and seeks no controversy. S.L.A.A. is not affiliated with any other organizations, movements or causes, either religious or secular.

We are, however, united in a common focus: dealing with our addictive sexual and emotional behavior. We find a common denominator in our obsessive/compulsive patterns which renders any personal differences of sexual or gender orientation irrelevant.

We need protect with special care the anonymity of every S.L.A.A. member. Additionally, we try to avoid drawing undue attention to S.L.A.A. as a whole from the public media.

Go to; Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.website

---

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? - Second Edition

See also; Sexually Compulsive

Alcoholism is a disease of the family.

 

Not only is there a significant genetic component that is passed from generation to generation, but the drinking problems of a single family member affect all other family members. The family environment and genetics can perpetuate a vicious and destructive cycle.

Many marriages break up over a husband’s or wife’s drinking. Domestic violence typically erupts when one or both spouses have been drinking, and drinking makes domestic violence more dangerous.

Families play a critical role in recovery from alcoholism. They can be instrumental in encouraging a family member with alcoholism to seek treatment. Strong family support also increases the chances for successful recovery.

Alcoholism and Problem Drinking - Pervasive in Family Life

• More than half of adults have a close family member who has had alcoholism or is still dealing with alcoholism.
• Approximately one in four children younger than 18 is exposed to alcoholism or problem drinking in the family.

A Factor in Many Serious Family Problems

Separated and divorced men and women are three times as likely to say their spouse was alcoholic or had a drinking problem than men and women who are still married.

Some 75 percent of husbands or wives who abuse their spouses have been drinking prior to or at the time of the abuse.

Women who have heavy drinking husbands or partners are at higher risk for developing their own drinking problems.

Each year between 1,200-8,800 babies are born with the physical signs and intellectual disabilities associated with fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), and thousands more experience the somewhat lesser disabilities of fetal alcohol effects. FAS is the leading preventable cause of mental retardation in the United States.

Children of alcoholics are at high risk for developing problems with alcohol and other drugs; they often do poorly at school, live with pervasive tension and stress, have high levels of anxiety and depression and experience coping problems.

Underage Drinking Challenges American Youth

First use of alcohol typically begins around age 13. By their senior year, 64 percent of high school students say they have been drunk at least once; 33 percent say they have been drunk in the past month.

Among teenagers between the ages of 12 and 17 who say they drink heavily (five or more drinks on five or more occasions in the past month); 77 percent had at least one serious problem related to drinking in the past year; 63 percent had built up tolerance to the effects of alcohol; 20 percent reported psychological problems related to their drinking; 12 percent reported health problems related to their drinking.

Teenagers who drink heavily are more likely to cut class or skip school, perform poorly in school, take sexual risks, and commit suicide. Heavy drinking increases the likelihood of delinquent and violent behavior including running away from home, fighting, vandalizing property, stealing and getting arrested.

Attitudes in the Home Influence Youth Drinking

Even in families where alcoholism isn’t present, permissive attitudes about alcohol can have a profound impact on youth. Though far more kids drink than use illicit drugs, parents are more likely to excuse getting drunk as a “rite of passage.” Unless a car is involved, some just don’t take it seriously.

Parents who drink and who have favorable attitudes about alcohol encourage children to start drinking and to keep drinking.

Drinking by older siblings can influence the alcohol use of younger siblings, particularly for same-sex siblings.

From; Alcohol and The Family ensuringsolutions.org

See ‘How to Help an Alcoholic at www.BriefTSF.com

---

Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

Relapse Prevention

Relapse prevention the Alcoholics Anonymous way is proactive action.

One form of these strategies is The AA Six Pack, which says;

1. Don’t Drink

2. Go to meetings

3. Ask for help

4. Get a sponsor

5. Join a home group

6. Get active (in the program)

These are practiced so as to ensure immunity, an insurance policy against the first drink.

Family, friends and counselors can encourage people to adhere to this plan.

AA says;

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, …

Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely (AA, pp 58).

Half measures availed us nothing (AA, pp 59).

Another AA informal catchphrase is; ‘Ring, before you drink’ indicating one should phone ones peer sponsor before picking up the first drink.

Tools of Recovery

These are some of the main tools used by AA members to achieve and maintain sobriety.

• Meetings: Meetings are the main place where patients learn how the program works and share their experiences, strengths and hope with others. Clients learn in meetings that their struggles and troubles are not unique, and gain the hope and assurance that they can recover and grow.

• Sharing at meetings: Clients being honest and vulnerable in front of peers is frightening but worth it. Many believe that recovery in direct proportion to their willingness to share at meetings.

• Telephoning: Advise patients to use the phone to contact members of AA between meetings.

• Support system: Encourage clients to meet with other AA members over coffee to discuss their program so that they can learn that they are not alone and also allows them to get another perspective on their problems.

• Reading and working the steps: Encourage patients to read AA literature, especially the Big Book, to better understand and work the program.

• Sponsorship: Advise clients to ask others for help, including their AA sponsor as well as other members in the Program.

• Balancing: To maintain and help build balance in their lives, help clients to understand that working at relationships with people other than AA members will enhance recovery.

• Reading daily meditations: Many recovering alcoholics read a mediation book with breakfast each day to help keep the focus on recovery. The AA book ‘Daily Reflections’ or ‘One Day at a Time’ are recommended.

From the BriefTSF education manuals.

See also;

• Alcoholics Anonymous
• Releasing resentment

A Hole in the Sidewalk: The Recovering Person's Guide to Relapse Prevention by Claudia Black Read more about this title...

The 23rd Psalm for Alcoholism / Addiction Recovery

Suitable for members of Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, Alateen, ACOA, Naranon, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous and anybody in recovery through a 12-Step fellowship.

The Lord is my sponsor, I shall not want.

He makes me to go to many meetings.

He leads me to sit back, relax, and listen with an open mind, He restores my soul, my sanity, and my health.

He leads me in the path of sobriety, serenity, and fellowship for my own sake.

He teaches me to think, to take it easy, to live and let live, and do first things first.

He makes me more humble and grateful.

He teaches me to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and gives me the wisdom to know the difference.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of despair, frustration, guilt, and remorse, I will fear no evil.

For Thou are with me, your program, your way of life, your twelve steps, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: rationalization. fear, anxiety, self-pity, resentment.

You anoint my confused mind and jangled nerves with knowledge, understanding and hope.

No longer am I alone, neither am I afraid, nor sicken, nor helpless, nor hopeless.

My cups runs over,

Surely sobriety and serenity shall follow me every day of my life, one day at a time, twenty-four hours at a time.

As I surrender my will to You and carry Your message to others, I will dwell in the house of Higher Power, as I understand him, one day at a time, forever and ever.

Amen

--Author Unknown

12-Step Based Treatment has Higher Success and Lower costs

 

Over 2 years 50% of 12-Step treated addicted people were clean and sober. In contrast only 37% of non-12-Step based addicts were clean and sober.

Additionally, 12-Step treatment cost 30% less in healthcare fees.

Accumulating evidence indicates that addiction and psychiatric treatment programs that actively promote self-help group involvement can reduce their patients’ health care costs in the first year after treatment. But such initially impressive effects may wane over time.

The researchers examined whether the higher success and reduced health care costs obvious at 1 year after treatment were maintained at 2-year after treatment began. They were!

The 12-step–based programs placed substantially more emphasis on;

• 12-step concepts,
• had more staff members "in recovery,"
• had a more spiritually oriented treatment environment, and
• promoted self-help group involvement much more extensively than did the other programs.

The 2-year follow-up assessed patients’ substance use, psychiatric functioning, self-help group affiliation, and mental health care utilization and costs.

The researchers concluded that,

“Promoting self-help group involvement appears to improve treatment success while reducing the costs of continuing care. Even cost offsets that somewhat diminish over the long term can yield substantial savings.

Actively promoting self-help group involvement may therefore be a useful clinical practice for helping addicted patients recover in a time of constrained fiscal resources.”

Reference; Keith Humphreys, Rudolf H. Moos (2007) Encouraging Posttreatment Self-Help Group Involvement to Reduce Demand for Continuing Care Services: Two-Year Clinical and Utilization Outcomes Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research 31 (1), 64–68.

Recovery Bloggers Comments; Its obvious that if your chances of successful recovery are better then 12-Step treatment is the obvious choice. But, if you have little money or no healthcare insurance then 12-Step treatment is also better.

See also;

• Brief-TSF can assist patients cease alcohol consumption.
• Regular AA meetings improve sobriety
• Definition of spirituality

Alcohol, Smoking, Tranquilisers: a self-help guide to quiting dependancy, combining orthodox and complementary approaches to health by Hasnain & Kingston, Andrea Walji Read more about this title...

Recovery Is Sexy Top 50 Articles December 2007

 

12-Step Speaker Tape Links

12-Step Treatment More Effective than Alternatives

A Program of Action

AA and Al-anon Comics

About Recovery Is Sexy .com

Abusive relationship?

Aggressive Sexual Behaviour of Alcoholic

Alcohol and Sexuality

Alcohol Related Brain Injury

Alcohol side effects

Alcoholic Family Roles

Are you enabling your loved one’s alcohol or drug problem

Bored to Death or Depression - Alcoholism

Can alcoholism be cured?

Cannabis and mental health

Character Defects

Character Defects

Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics

Characteristics of the Alcoholic Family

Choc Chip Cookies

Daily Reprieve

Denial Makes the World Go Round

Depression versus Anxiety

Detox from Alcohol and Smoking Together

Dysfunctional family

Emotional Sobriety

Hep C Factsheet

How benzodiazepines Made me Sick

I am a Cocaine Addict

I’m not an Alcoholic!

I'm a 15 year Old Alcoholic in AA

Is alcoholism inherited?

Is my lover an alcoholic?

Male and Female Condoms

Masculine Grief is Different

Narcotics Anonymous

Native American traditions and AA

Older sex - less but still great

Our Wounded Spirits

Personal Stories of Recovery

Porn Addiction

Self-Forgiveness

Sensual Massage

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

Sex partners - How do you rate?

Sex relations

SEXAHOLISM

SEXUAL ADDICTION

Stages in the Alcoholic Family

Straight sex is best sex.

The Sexual G-spot, Male and Female

The Six Mistakes of Man by Cicero

Want to Stop Drinking – Watch this

What can you do for your alcoholic? Suggestion 10

WHAT IS ALCOHOLIC LIVER DISEASE?

What is codependency?

Why Men Have Sex

Why Women Have Sex

12 Steps of Alcoholics Victorious with Biblical References

 

1 - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol ... that our lives had become unmanageable.

"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (Romans 7:18)

2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

"... my grace is sufficient for you, for my POWER is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) ..for it God Who works in you to will and act according to His good purpose.. (Phil. 2:13)

3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of GOD as we understood Him.

"... If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23**)

4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord." (Lamentations 3:40)

5 - Admitted to GOD, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." (James 5:16)

6 - Were entirely ready to have GOD remove all these defects of character.

"If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land." (Isaiah 1:19)

7 - Humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." (James 4:10)

8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23, 24**)

9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Give and it shall be given you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Luke 6:38**)

10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith GOD has given you." (Romans 12:3)

11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with GOD as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will, and the power to carry that out.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." (Psalm 19:14) "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly..." (Col. 3:16)

12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all our affairs.

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:1-2)

Alcoholics Victorious

Founded in 1948, Alcoholics Victorious support groups offer a safe environment where recovering people who recognize Jesus Christ as their "Higher Power" gather together and share their experience, strength and hope. AV meetings use both the 12 Steps and the Alcoholics Victorious Creed.

Contact; Alcoholics Victorious

Celebrate Recovery Bible: New International Version by Read more about this title...

’Roid rage, depression and suicide

 

Some of the damage from steroids is irreversible, doctor says

Suspicions of steroid use are clouding Major League Baseball at the start of its season, but a bigger problem than the image of the national pastime is the health impact of anabolic steroids on adolescents, a University of Michigan addiction expert says.

Brower cautions that young people may think steroids are safe when they hear of their sports idols taking them. In reality, the risks of steroid use can include serious and irreversible physical effects, as well as mental perils such as severe depression, suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and violent aggression, known as “’roid rage.”

He notes that suicide is the third-leading cause of death among people ages 15-24. “This is an age group that is already at high risk,” says Brower, associate professor of psychiatry at UMHS. “When you add steroids, you are increasing the risk of suicide.”

Although the actual rate of adverse psychiatric effects is difficult to measure, he notes that studies have found higher rates of psychiatric effects among weight-training users of steroids than comparable non-users. Brower, who recently testified at a highly publicized congressional hearing about anabolic steroid use, says the drugs can worsen the usual degree of psychological upset during adolescence.

“It can be difficult to detect when adolescents or young athletes are using steroids, so parents and coaches need to know what to look for,” he says. “One of the reasons it can be difficult is because some of the things that you see, such as mood swings and weight gain, are things that you would expect to see in adolescents.”

How can you tell if the mood swings, weight gain and acne are just part of growing up, or if they are related to steroid use?

Brower says to watch for intense dietary regimens that go along with frequent and prolonged periods of weight training.

“People become very focused on how often they need to work out, how much they need to work out, how much they eat, what kinds of foods they need to eat,” he says, “and they may even get irritable when they’re not able to do those things.”

Some warning signs should prompt parents to seek professional help for their kids, such as

• when they become aggressive or violent with friends, family or strangers;
• when they aren’t eating or sleeping;
• when parents discover their children are hanging around with other kids who are doing drugs; or
• when they are talking about suicide.

Some of the physical signs of steroid use include male-pattern baldness in men, the growth of facial hair and deepened voice in women, marked acne, oily skin, and injection marks over large muscle groups such as shoulders, thighs and buttocks. Steroids also cause a shrinking of testicles in men, and the appearance of sex organs in women to become more male-like.

The fact that a national spotlight has been shining on steroid use among well-known baseball players complicates the message, Brower says. Even if young people hear about the harmful effects of using the drugs, they see images of the famous athletes accused of steroid use - athletes who are wealthy and who appear healthy.

“We like our sports heroes because they’re celebrities, they’re famous, they look well, they perform well,” Brower says. “And when that becomes associated with anabolic steroids, it adds to the positive image of steroids.”

Steering young people away from using steroids is especially difficult not just because their sports idols may use them, but also because anabolic steroids are very easy for adolescents to get, Brower says.

Facts about anabolic steroids:

Steroids can lead to depression and can be addictive.

Side effects of steroids can include:

• tears of muscles and tendons;
• acne;
• liver damage;
• mood swings and
• aggressive behavior;
• shrinkage in the size of testicles;
• loss of the ability to get erections;
• a decreased sperm count;
• an increase in men’s breast size;
• high blood pressure;
• abnormal cholesterol levels;
• jaundice;
• male-pattern baldness in men and women; and
• the growth of facial hair in women.

Anabolic steroids are synthetic drugs similar to the male hormone testosterone. They sometimes are prescribed by doctors to treat men who can’t make enough testosterone naturally or to increase weight in people with some problems or disorders, such as AIDS.

Anabolic steroids were developed in the late 1930s primarily to treat hypogonadism, in which the testes do not produce enough testosterone, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

A University of Michigan Health Minute update.

See also;

• The Hustler
• Courage to Change

The 12 Steps as Ego Deflating Devices

 

What does Surrender Mean?

For reasons still obscure, the program and the fellowship of AA could cause a surrender which in turn would lead to a period of no drinking. It became ever more apparent that in everyone’s psyche there existed an unconquerable ego which bitterly opposed any thought of defeat. Until that ego was somehow reduced or rendered ineffective, no likelihood of surrender could be anticipated.

AA, still very much in its infancy [1940], was celebrating a third or fourth anniversary of one of the groups. The speaker immediately preceding me told in detail of the efforts of his local group-which consisted of two men-to get him to dry up and become its third member. After several months of vain efforts on their part and repeated nose dives on his, the speaker went on to say: "Finally, I got cut down to size and have been sober ever since," a matter of some two or three years. When my turn came to speak, I used his phrase "cut down to size" as a text around which to weave my remarks. Before long, out of the corner of my eye, I became conscious of a disconcerting stare. It was coming from the previous speaker.

It was perfectly clear: He was utterly amazed that he had said anything which made sense to a psychiatrist. The incident showed that two people, one approaching the matter clinically and the other relying on his own intuitive report of what had happened to him, both came up with exactly the same observation: the need for ego reduction. It is common knowledge that a return of the full-fledged ego can happen at any time. Years of sobriety are no insurance against its resurgence. No AA’s, regardless of their veteran status, can ever relax their guard against a reviving ego.

The function of surrender in AA is now clear. It produces that stopping by causing the individual to say, "I quit. I give up on my headstrong ways. I’ve learned my lesson." Very often for the first time in that individual’s adult career, he has encountered the necessary discipline that halts him in his headlong pace. Actually, he is lucky to have within him the capacity to surrender. It is that which differentiates him from the wild animals. And this happens because we can surrender and truly feel, "Thy will, not mine, be done."

Unfortunately, that ego will return unless the individual learns to accept a disciplined way of life, which means the tendency toward ego comeback is permanently checked.

This is not news to AA members. They have learned that a single surrender is not enough. Under the wise leadership of the AA "founding fathers" the need for continued endeavor to maintain that miracle has been steadily stressed. The Twelve Steps urge repeated inventories, not just one, and the Twelfth Step is in itself a routine reminder that one must work at preserving sobriety. Moreover, it is referred to as Twelfth Step work-which is exactly what it is. By that time, the miracle is for the other person.

-Dr. Harry M. Tiebout, M.D.

See also;

• The Six Mistakes of Man by Cicero
• Amazing Grace

12 QUESTIONS OF MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS

 

The following questions may help you determine whether marijuana is a problem in your life.

1. Has smoking pot stopped being fun?
2. Do you ever get high alone?
3. Is it hard for you to imagine a life without marijuana?
4. Do you find that your friends are determined by your marijuana use?
5. Do you smoke marijuana to avoid dealing with your problems?
6. Do you smoke pot to cope with your feelings?
7. Does your marijuana use let you live in a privately defined world?
8. Have you ever failed to keep promises you made about cutting down or controlling your dope smoking?
9. Has your use of marijuana caused problems with memory, concentration, or motivation?
10. When your stash is nearly empty, do you feel anxious or worried about how to get more?
11. Do you plan your life around your marijuana use?
12. Have friends or relatives ever complained that your pot smoking is damaging your relationship with them?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you may have a problem with marijuana.

From; Marijuana Anonymous

What About This Spiritual Awakening Thing?

Merry Sober and Clean Christmas to all Our Readers.

 

We have chosen the following message to convey the spirit of this season as a message of hope to all alcoholics / addicts and co-dependents.

Bill and Lois' Christmas Message, 1944

• From Bill Wilson – co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous; and
• Lois Wilson – co-founder of Al-anon.

TO ALL MEMBERS

Greetings On Our 10th Christmas 1944

Yes, it's in the air! The spirit of Christmas once more warms this poor distraught world.

Over the whole globe millions are looking forward to that one day when strife can be forgotten, when it will be remembered that all human beings, even the least are loved by God, when men will hope for the coming of the Prince of Peace as they never hoped before.

But there is another world which is not poor. Neither is it distraught.

It is the world of Alcoholics Anonymous, where thousands dwell happily and secure. Secure because each of us, in his own way, knows a greater power who is love, who is just, and who can be trusted.

Nor can men and women of AA ever forget that only through suffering did they find enough humility to enter the portals of that New World.

How privileged we are to understand so well the divine paradox

• that strength rises from weakness,
• that humiliation goes before resurrection;
• that pain is not only the price but the very touchstone of spiritual rebirth.

Knowing it's full worth and purpose, we can no longer fear adversity, we have found prosperity where there was poverty, peace and joy have sprung out of the very midst of chaos.

Great indeed, our blessings!

And so -- Merry Christmas to you all -- from the Trustees, from Bobbie and from Lois and me.

Bill Wilson

Addicted lawyers can overcome barriers to recovery

 

Robert started drinking at age 18 and was an alcoholic by the time he entered law school. "I managed to get my degree and go to work for a Wall Street firm. After that I changed jobs every two years or less. I just couldn’t hang on to one. Nobody ever mentioned drinking to me. But I’m sure that with every job I lost, drinking was the main reason."

Images of hard-headed, hard-drinking lawyers abound in popular culture. These images make a point: The professional status granted by a law degree offers no immunity from addiction. The same can be said for people in other prominent professions, such as physicians, pilots and politicians. In fact, the rate of addiction for attorneys may exceed that for the general population.

In 2002, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration estimated that 9.4 percent of Americans age 12 and older could be classified as substance abusers or substance dependent. According to the American Bar Association, the corresponding estimate for lawyers is nearly double--15 to 18 percent.

Emil Jalonen, an attorney in recovery who now works in Hazelden’s Residential Evaluation Program in Center City, Minn., connects chemical use to the overachieving, high-pressure lifestyle of the legal profession.

"Lawyers in private practice often have many clients, which means multiple bosses," says Jalonen. "All these bosses have different personalities that the attorney must deal with, and all of them have their own needs to meet. Also, lawyers operate under very strict timelines. If you don’t get a certain paper filed by a certain time, for example, your case gets thrown out of court."

Increased competition is another factor. The fact that lawyers in many states can now advertise, paired with increased graduations from law school, creates an expanding pool of lawyers all chasing the same clients.

Lawyers’ professional survival depends on their competence as perceived by peers and clients. This in turn creates pressure to appear invincible and deny signs of addiction.

A solution lies in lawyer assistance programs--organizations formed by legal professionals to assist each other with recovery from addiction and other mental health problems. Today, such programs exist in all 50 states and Canadian provinces as well as Great Britain.

Lawyer assistance programs differ widely. Some are basically support groups. Others are full-blown diversion programs that aim to rehabilitate impaired lawyers as an alternative to suspension or disbarment. In all cases, confidentiality is strictly maintained.

One goal of peer assistance is to get impaired lawyers into addiction treatment programs. However, many lawyers fear that attending treatment will take them out of the office for extended periods of time and lead to loss of clients.

Lawyers assistance programs are frequently the answer.

"Many lawyers who have been helped by the organization want to volunteer their services to help others," says Tom Shroyer, executive director of Minnesota Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers. "Our volunteers will go in and at no cost for their time assist with another person’s practice in order to meet the needs of clients and keep the attorney out of trouble until he or she is able to get back on the job."

Chuck Rice, a chemical dependency counselor at Hazelden, says that peer assistance should include aftercare--continuing help for lawyers after they complete treatment.

"My experience with attorneys tells me that long-term treatment outcomes are dramatically improved when lawyers have a fair amount of external support," Rice says. This includes monitoring, ongoing contact with a treatment professional, and access to other recovering attorneys.

Robert, an advocate of peer assistance, achieved sobriety through inpatient treatment, four months in a halfway house, and a permanent move to Minnesota.

"I’ve managed, in large part as a result of that move, to stay sober for the last 16 years," he says. "I still practice law, and I sincerely believe that I am very possibly the luckiest man I will ever meet."

If you are a lawyer, judge or law student, you can access confidential help for chemical dependency and other mental health issues. Contact your state bar association and ask for a referral to a lawyer assistance program. Other resources include:

American Bar Association Commission on Lawyer Assistance Programs, 312-988-5359, www.abanet.org/legalservices/colap/home.html.

International Lawyers in Alcoholics Anonymous, a support group that acts "as a bridge between reluctant (in denial) lawyers/judges and AA," can be reached via e-mail at webmaster@ilaa.org. Its Web site is www.ilaa.org/index.html.

Alive & Free is a health column that provides information to help prevent substance abuse problems and address such problems. It is created by Hazelden, a nonprofit agency based in Center City, Minn.

Addictive Thinking, Second Edition: Understanding Self-Deception by Abraham J. Twerski Read more about this title...

Step 5 - ACOA

Last week I did a step 5 with the focus on my ACOA issues.

Boy am I feeling it.

After 4 hours, one of the comments my sponsor said was ’Most of those things relate to being rejected’.

And it was. Right back as far as I can remember, about age 4 and a half, and almost anything since - I perceived everything as rejection of me. And I ended up with the view of myself as being unworthy, rejectable; and of course ’I deserve’ to be put down, critisised and not needed.

The important thing to me is that these thoughts may only be ’perceptions’, not reality.

My thinking since has been split between ’at least I now know’ and depression - what a waste my life has been stuck in thinking I am no good.

It’s almost like being paranoid about thinking every incident being set up to reject me. And, I set myself up to be rejected.

My positive, spiritual thoughts are; ’I may or may not have been rejected, that’s not important. What is important it seems to me is changing my thoughts and self-talk to ’I am OK, even if I am rejected’.

I have been reading Step 6 in the AA 12 steps and 12 traditions book every day and that is opening my mind to just how much this twisted thinking is embedded in my mind.

Any thoughts you have on these subjects will be read with interest.

 

The Complete ACOA Sourcebook: Adult Children of Alcoholics at Home, at Work and in Love by Janet Woititz Read more about this title...

Some Gifts of Sobriety

The program of recovery from alcoholism offered by Alcoholics Anonymous offers the following gifts;

• We’ll be amazed at and proud of changes we make
• We’ll be freer and happier than we could imagine
• Our mistakes won’t haunt us
• We’ll feel calmer and more confident
• What we’ve been through will help us help others
• We’ll stop feeling stupid and sorry for ourselves
• We’ll be more considerate of our friends and family members
• We’ll lighten up
• We won’t be so afraid of people and situations
• We’ll stop worrying about money and how much we’ve got and haven’t got
• We’ll be able to trust our gut instincts when times get tough
• We’ll feel loved and cared for

A.A.’s 12-Steps - A Program of Action

 

A.A.’s Twelve Steps, which constitute its program of recovery, are in no way a statement of belief; they simply describe what the founding members did to get sober and stay sober.

They contain no new ideas: surrender, self-inventory, confession to someone outside ourselves, and some form of prayer and meditation are concepts found in spiritual movements throughout the world for thousands of years.

What the Steps do is frame these principles for the suffering alcoholic - sick, frightened, defiant, and grimly determined not to be told what to do or think or believe.

The Steps offer a detailed plan of action: admit that alcohol has you beaten, clean up your own life, admit your faults and do whatever it takes to change them, maintain a relationship with whatever or whoever outside of yourself can help keep you sober, and work with other alcoholics.

The same applies in a similar way to all 12-Step groups such as Al-anon, Alateen, ACOA, Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and Cocaine Anonymous.

AA - A Newsletter for Professionals Fall 2003 at Alcoholics Anonymous

Aggressive Sexual Behaviour of Alcoholic Men

 

Women in psychiatric care have a pronounced record of marks on their bodies that were inflicted during sexual relations.

Researchers studied 30 women with alcoholic partners and noted body marks, duration of marks and if the marks were inflicted during love-making. These were then compared to women from the clinic with non-drinking sexual partners. Their ages, gender, ethnicity and social class were similar.

Their findings indicate that the spouses of alcoholic men are subjected to more aggressive and painful sexual experiences, more body marks in more regions that lasted an average of 7 days and more biting of body surfaces than wives of non-alcohol-dependent men.

These behaviours are interpreted as subtle signs of domestic violence.

If you have these experiences please contact your doctor or counselor.

---

Research; Hari D. Maharajh, MRCPsych, Akleema Ali. Aggressive Sexual Behaviour of Alcohol Dependent Men, Alcoholism Treatment Quarterly, Volume: 23 Issue: 4, 2005

The Road Less Travelled by M.Scott Peck Read more about this title...

Women's Sexual Problems

There are four recognised disorders of Female Sexual Dysfunction as defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Medical Disorders. These are:

• Sexual desire disorders – A lack of sex drive or low libido. This is the most common type of sexual disorder among women

• Sexual arousal disorder – An inability to become aroused or maintain arousal during sexual activity

• Orgasmic disorder – A persistent or recurrent difficulty in achieving orgasm after sufficient sexual arousal and ongoing stimulation

• Sexual pain disorder – Pain associated with sexual stimulation or vaginal contact.

None of them is considered to be a sexual disorder unless the woman is distressed about her sexual condition.

Several factors can cause or contribute to sexual dysfunction and these are often interrelated. Physical conditions, such as arthritis, urinary or bowel problems, pelvic surgery and trauma, fatigue, headaches, neurological disorders, and untreated pain syndromes may lead to sexual dysfunction.

Certain medications and including antidepressants, blood pressure medications, antihistamines, and chemotherapy drugs can similarly affect a woman’s energy and desire for sexual activity.

Regular and heavy use of recreational drugs such as alcohol, marijuana, amphetamines (speed), heroin, extacy and LSD can effect sexual arousal, desire, orgasm and/or produce painful sex.

The decreases in sex hormone levels that occur with menopause and normal ageing may also be at the root of FSD. Reductions in oestrogen levels after menopause may lead to vaginal dryness, thinning of the vaginal lining, and decreased vaginal elasticity which, in turn, can lead to difficult or painful intercourse.

Additionally, testosterone contributes to libido in women so the natural fall in testosterone levels on ageing may reduce sex drive. For some women, hormone replacement therapy leads to greater sexual desire and there is evidence that optimal results are achieved by supplementing both oestrogen and testosterone to premenopausal levels.

Psychological factors including untreated anxiety, depression and a history of ongoing sexual abuse, work-related stress, partner’s health, and family issues may all contribute to loss of sexual desire and consequent sexual dysfunction.

Awakening Your Sexuality: A Guide for Recovering Women by Stephanie S. Covington Ph. D. Read more about this title...

World AIDS Day, 1st December

World AIDS Day, observed December 1 each year, is dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection.

AIDS has killed more than 25 million people, with an estimated 38.6 million people living with HIV, making it one of the most destructive epidemics in recorded history.

Despite recent, improved access to antiretroviral treatment and care in many regions of the world, the AIDS epidemic claimed an estimated 3.1 million (between 2.8 and 3.6 million) lives in 2005 of which, more than half a million (570,000) were children.

More information at; World AIDS Day

World AIDS Day 2007 Theme: Leadership

• Over 5,700 people died each day from AIDS-related illnesses in 2007.
• Over 6,800 people are being infected with HIV daily,
• About 1200 of whom are children under 15 and
• About 2,900 are women 15 years and older.
• The infection rates in young people ages 15-24 remain frighteningly high.

We know these infections and these deaths are preventable and avoidable if promises by countries to scale up access to prevention, treatment, care and support for all are to be fulfilled by 2010.

Alateen’s Purpose

 

Alateen is part of Al-Anon, which helps families and friends of alcoholics recover from the effects of living with the problem drinking of a relative or friend. Alateen is a recovery program for young people. Alateen groups are sponsored by Al-Anon members.

The program of recovery is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based upon the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and the Twelve Concepts of Service.

The only requirement of membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.

Al-Anon/Alateen is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity.

What Alateen members learn

• compulsive drinking is a disease.
• they can detach themselves emotionally from the drinker’s problems while continuing to love the person.
• they are not the cause of anyone else’s drinking or behavior.
• they cannot change or control anyone but themselves.
• they have spiritual and intellectual resources with which to develop their own potentials, no matter what happens at home.
• they can build satisfying and rewarding life experiences for themselves.

Alateen: Hope for Children of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Group Head Inc Read more about this title...