Monday, December 27, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
New Podcast website
Welcome to “First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery” from Al-Anon Family Groups. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.
Drinking During the Holidays
Janie, Ernie, and Frances are with us today. All are active Al-Anon members. They are willing to talk about how Al-Anon helped them deal with drinking during the holidays.
New to Al-anon
Renee, Paula, Dick, and Edith are with us today. All are active Al-Anon members. They are willing to talk about what they wish they knew before they came to their first Al-Anon meeting.
MP3 Podcasts at Al-anon First Steps
Saturday, December 18, 2010
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Many areas of our life need healing.
One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and beliefs about our sexuality, our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to respect ourselves sexually, our ability to let go of sexual shame and confusion, may all be impaired or confused by our co-dependency.
Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love - for others or ourselves.
Some of us were sexually abused as children. Some of us may have gotten involved in sexuality addictive behaviors - compulsive sexual behaviors that got out of control and produced shame.
Some of us may have gotten involved in sexual co-dependency: not paying attention to what we wanted, or didn't want, sexually; allowing ourselves to get involved sexually because it was what the other person wanted; shutting off our sexuality along with our other feelings; denying ourselves healthy enjoyment of ourselves as sexual beings.
Our sexuality is a part of ourselves that deserves healing attention and energy. It is a part of us that we can allow to become connected to the whole of us; it is a part of us that we can stop being ashamed of.
It is okay and healthy to allow our sexual energy to open up and become healed. It is connected to our creativity and to our heart. We do not have to allow our sexual energy to control our relationships or us. We can establish and maintain healthy, appropriate boundaries around our sexuality. We can discover what that means in our life.
We can enjoy the gift of being human beings who have been given the gift of sexual energy, without abusing or discounting that gift.
Today, I will begin to integrate my sexuality into the rest of my personality. God, help me let go of my fears and shame around my sexuality. Show me the issues I need to face concerning my sexuality. Help me open myself to healing in that area of my life.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990
Buy today >> The Language of Letting Go
Monday, October 25, 2010
See full details at Recovery Is Sexy
- A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps
- Understanding Co-Dependency
- Compulsive Overeater - A Recovery Book
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Overview of Marijuana Anonymous
Marijuana Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share our experience, strength, and hope with each other that we may solve our common problem and help others to recover from marijuana addiction.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using marijuana. There are no dues or fees for membership. We are self-supporting through our own contributions. MA is not affiliated with any religious or secular institution or organization and has no opinion on any outside controversies or causes. Our primary purpose is to stay free of marijuana and to help the marijuana addict who still suffers achieve the same freedom. We can do this by practicing our suggested twelve steps of recovery and by being guided as a group by our twelve traditions.
Marijuana Anonymous uses the basic 12 Steps of Recovery founded by Alcoholics Anonymous, because it has been proven that the 12 Step Recovery program works!
The Twelve Steps of Marijuana Anonymous
The practice of rigorous honesty, of opening our hearts and minds, and the willingness to go to any lengths to have a spiritual awakening are essential to our recovery.
Our old ideas and ways of life no longer work for us. Our suffering shows us that we need to let go absolutely. We surrender ourselves to a Power greater than ourselves.
Here are the steps we take which are suggested for recovery:
- We admitted we were powerless over marijuana, that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to marijuana addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Do not be discouraged; none of us are saints. Our program is not easy, but it is simple. We strive for progress, not perfection. Our experiences, before and after we entered recovery, teach us three important ideas:
- That we are marijuana addicts and cannot manage our own lives;
- That probably no human power can relieve our addiction; and
- That our Higher Power can and will if sought.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
As Women Age Their Libido, Fantasies, Sexual Experimentation and Activity Increases
As more women wait until their 30s and 40s to have children, they are more willing to engage in a variety of sexual activities to capitalize on their remaining childbearing years, according to new research by psychologists at The University of Texas at Austin.
Such "reproduction expediting" includes one-night stands and adventurous bedroom behavior, the research shows.
In a paper published in the July 2010 edition of Personality and Individual Differences, psychology researchers found that women age 27-45 have a heightened sex drive in response to their dwindling fertility.
In the study the researchers split 827 women into three groups: high fertility (ages18-26), low fertility (ages 27-45), and menopausal (ages 46 and up). The women answered an online questionnaire about their sexual attitudes and behavior.
Compared with the other groups, women with low fertility were more likely to experience:
- Frequent sexual fantasies
- Thoughts about sexual activities
- More intense sexual fantasies than their younger counterparts
- A more active sex life and willingness to have a one-night stand
- A willingness to have casual sex
Contrary to their predictions, the researchers found that when comparing low and high fertility women who were in relationships, the older, less fertile group did not fantasize more about someone other than their current romantic partners. Instead they fantasized equally about their significant others and other romantic partners.
With more women having children past their peak childbearing years, Easton says she believes the research will have implications on reproductive and sexual health issues, such as fertility, sexual dysfunction and marital development.
"Our findings suggest that women don’t need to necessarily go ‘baby crazy’ in their 30s or go around thinking they’re supposed to be having a ‘sexual peak,’" Easton said. "Our results suggest there is nothing special about the 30s, but that instead these behaviors manifest in all women with declining fertility. It may be more difficult to conceive past the age of 35, but our research suggests women’s psychology will continue to motivate them to try until menopause."
The study outlines for the first time the changes in women’s reproductive behavior across the life cycle from an evolutionary standpoint. The researchers attribute these differences to ingrained psychological mechanisms rooted in each gender’s adaptive responses over millennia of human evolution.
From a press release of the University of Texas at Austin.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Four research studies involving 1,758 people show that prayer frequency cuts alcohol consumption.
In Study 1 of 824 people, we used a cross-sectional design and found that higher prayer frequency was related to lower alcohol consumption and problematic drinking behavior.
Study 2 of 702 people used a longitudinal design and found that more frequent prayer predicted less alcohol consumption and problematic drinking behavior at a later date, and this relationship held when controlling for baseline levels of drinking and prayer.
In Study 3 of 117 people, we used an experimental design to test for a causal relationship between prayer frequency and alcohol consumption. Participants assigned to pray every day (either an undirected prayer or a prayer for a relationship partner) for 4 weeks drank about half as much alcohol at the conclusion of the study.
Study 4 of 115 people replicated the findings of Study 3, as prayer again reduced drinking by about half.
Research; Nathaniel M. Lambert, Frank D. Fincham, Loren D. Marks and Tyler F. Stillman; Psychology of Addictive Behaviors; Volume 24, Issue 2, June 2010, Pages 209-219; Invocations and Intoxication: Does Prayer Decrease Alcohol Consumption?
- Not God – A History of AA
- Twelve Step Christianity – A Recovery Book
- Sought Through Prayer and Meditation – A Recovery Book
Prayer Steps to Serenity The Twelve Steps Journey: New Serenity Prayer Edition by L. G. Parkhurst Jr.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
When drinking or drugging one has sex, uses sex and does sex for various OK or not so OK reasons.
Recovery from alcoholism/addiction may increase sexuality and desire.
This list can help you decide why you had sex, and why you may have sex in the future.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Often those of us who live or have lived with someone else’s problem drinking either blame ourselves or the drinker. “If I were a better spouse, he wouldn’t be drinking.” “If she really loved me, she would have kept her promise and given up the alcohol.”
Sunday, April 25, 2010
“Our fellowship is open to women and men, regardless of age, race, religion, ethnic background, marital status, or occupation. We welcome members of any sexual identity or orientation, whether they are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, or transgender.”
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Millions of people have a substance-related disorder and at least one other mental illness. Those who are dealing with a combination of these disorders are met with a powerful recipe for destruction, especially self-destruction.
The good news is that there is help.
Online AA Offers Digital Assistance for Recovery
Many things can prevent people in early recovery from attending Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings in person, from disability to lack of transportation to a sheer case of the nerves.
Addictive Thinking, 2nd Edition
Addictive thought is inherently self-deceptive, yet offers a superficial logic that can be misleading to the addict as well as to the addict’s family members.
Abnormal thinking in addiction was originally recognized by members of Alcoholics Anonymous, who coined the term “stinking thinking.” Addictive thinking often appears rational, but only on a superficial level. Addicts, as well as their family members, are easily seduced by the attendant–and erroneous–reasoning process it can foster.
In Addictive Thinking, author Abraham Twerski reveals how self-deceptive thought can undermine self-esteem and threaten the sobriety of a recovering individual.
This timely revision of the original classic includes updated information and research on depression and mood disorders, the relationship between addictive thinking and relapse, and the origins of addictive thought. Ultimately, Addictive Thinking offers hope to those seeking a healthy and rewarding life in recovery.
Dr. Twerski is founder and medical director of the Gateway Rehabilitation Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. A rabbi, psychiatrist, and chemical dependency counselor, he is the author of numerous journal articles and books including Self Discovery in Recovery, I Didn’t Ask to be in This Family: Sibling Relationships and How They Shame Adult Behavior and Dependencies, and with “Peanuts” cartoonist Charles Schulz, When Do the Good Things Start?
Order today >> Addictive Thinking, 2nd Edition
What about families that had no alcoholism, but did have perfectionism, workaholism, compulsive overeating, intimacy problems, depression, problems in expressing feelings, plus all the other personality traits that can produce a family system much like an alcoholic one?
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Forming a happy, joy-filled partnership is one of the greater challenges. Through Coupleship, many can find greater understanding and tools to:
- Enhance a current marriage
- Make a decision about commitment
- Explore ways to find a partner
One wife says, "If my husband had sought help, he would have been admitting how serious my problem was. It was a big family secret."But other people emphasize the importance of not going it alone when someone you care about has a drinking problem.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Take care of yourself
"Live a full life of your own."
"Make sure you live a life of your own that does not depend on the undependable person."
"Carry on with your life after you’ve let the alcoholic know you aren’t babysitting anymore."
The fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and Al-Anon are of inestimable value in the recovery from alcoholism and chemical dependency. Not infrequently, there is a resistance on the part of Jews to participate on the grounds that these programs have a religious orientation that is non-Jewish.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Care Environment “Toxic” for Persons in Recovery and Those Working in the Field
Monday, March 22, 2010
The little caretaker role is often a carbon copy of the partner of the alcoholic. They take care of the alcoholic; getting drinks, cleaning up after the alcoholic and soothing over stressful situations and events.
Other roles include;
Do you reach for something sweet, a couple of drinks, or a pack of cigarettes after a difficult day because you can’t unwind without them? Do you race to the stores to spend away the day’s frustrations or run around in circles taking more time to get less done?
Mary Ignatia Gavin (1889–1966) of the Sisters of Charity of St. Augustine was known as The Drunk’s “Angel of Hope”
Sister Ignatia epitomized the spirit of love, service, and honesty that today are the hallmarks of Alcoholics Anonymous.
The Twelve Step program of recovery from alcoholism and other addictions rests on a notion of spirituality that is not about having the “right” beliefs. Instead, it is about adopting daily practices that help people stay clean and sober.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
About growing up and adult children of hoarders (COH):
For many, growing up in an environment of constant chaos and disorganization has effects that go far beyond living amongst the accumulation of possessions or not being able to have friends over.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
My very first drink loosened my previous, ever present inhibitions. Medical school facilitated my growing reliance on this chemical. Six years later, after qualifying, I found an identity to hide behind, at least during the day. I was the all knowing, devoted, and respected professional, who daily appeared red eyed and trembling.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
These are the characteristics most of us seem to have in common:
- As adolescents, we used fantasy and compulsive masturbation to avoid feelings, and continued this tendency into our adult lives with compulsive sex.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
What is the purpose of the 12 Steps?
All addicts, alcoholics, compulsive gamblers, sex addicts and codependents have the following focus – Me, Myself and I.
This one of the main motivations for seeking treatment or recovery. This ‘me, myself and I’ focus is hurting too much. The addiction no longer works to relieve the pain.
I am a Roman Catholic priest, a pastor of souls with the title of monsignor. I am also an alcoholic. A few months ago, I celebrated an anniversary of ordination. A month before that, I celebrated a more important anniversary, my fourth as a member of A.A.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Although there is some uncertainty about hepatitis C (also called hep C) being transmitted sexually, it’s not classified as an STI (sexually transmissible infection). General scientific knowledge supports this position.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
A drug addict used to be someone who bought illegal fixes from a shady character in a back alley. But with more and more people admitting addiction to prescription drugs, your ‘dealer’ can be the person you least expect to harm your health – your GP.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Patrick Smith writing in the Australian newspaper concludes that the Tiger Woods experience carries messages for all celebrities and sports stars. It also carries messages for us all in 12 Step Fellowship recovery plus life for all in general.