What I said never changed anybody

For recovering alcoholics, addicts and co-dependents this meditation has real meaning.

What I said never changed anybody; what they understood did. - Paul. P.

How often have we given our all to change somebody else? How frantically have we tried to force a loved one to see the light? How hopelessly have we watched a destructive pattern - perhaps a pattern we know well from personal experience - bring terrible pain to someone who is dear to us?

All of us have.

We would do anything to save the people we love. In our desperation, we imagine that if we say just the right words in just the right way, our loved ones will understand.

If change happens, we think our efforts have succeeded.

If change doesn't happen, we think our efforts have failed. But neither is true. Even our best efforts don't have the power to change someone else. Nor do we have that responsibility. People are only persuaded by what they understand. And they, as we, can understand a deeper truth only when it is their time to grow toward deeper understanding. Not before.

Today, I will focus on changing myself and entrust those I love to the Higher Power who loves them even more than I do.

Today's meditation comes from the book – buy today

Days of Healing Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children

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The Spiritual Dozen

Am I a spiritual being or a human being

Becoming a spiritual being is synonymous with becoming a miracle worker and knowing the bliss of real magic. A spiritual being has a conscious awareness of both the physical and the invisible dimension, while the non-spiritual being is only aware of the physical domain. Here are a dozen beliefs for you to cultivate in order to manifest miracles in your life.

• The non-spiritual being believes that if you cannot see, touch, smell, hear, or taste something, then it simply doesn’t exist. The spiritual being knows that beyond the physical senses, there are other senses available to us. He knows that the soul is beyond limits and defies birth and death.
• The non-spiritual being accepts the existence of a God, not as a force within us but as a separate power. The spiritual being uses his own divine guidance to become a miracle maker.
• The non-spiritual being is focused on external power. The spiritual being is focused on personal empowerment and helping others live in harmony. A mind at peace and centred, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.
• The non-spiritual being feels separated and distinct from all others, a being unto himself. The spiritual being knows that he is connected to all others. Then, the need for conflict and confrontation is eliminated.
• The non-spiritual being believes in a cause/effect interpretation of life. The spiritual being knows that there is a higher power working in the universe.
• The non-spiritual being is motivated by acquisitions. The spiritual being believes the measure of a life is in what is given to others.
• The non-spiritual being has no room for meditation. The spiritual being knows in deep meditation one can leave the body and enter a sphere of magic.
• For the non-spiritual being, the concept of intuition can be reduced to a hunch. For the spiritual being, intuition is guidance and is never taken lightly.
• The non-spiritual being knows what he hates but, in order to manifest miracles, the spiritual being works on what he is, rather than fighting what he is against. Real magic occurs when you have eliminated the hatred in your life, even the hatred that you have against hatred.
• The non-spiritual person feels no sense of responsibility to the universe. The spiritual being has a reverence for life that goes to the essence of all beings.
• The non-spiritual being is laden with grudges and the need for revenge. The spiritual being has no room for these impediments to miracle making. All religions preach forgiveness. One cannot profess to be a member of a particular faith, and then behave in ways inconsistent with its teachings.
• The non-spiritual being views miracles as random happenings but the spiritual being believes in them, and in his ability to experience a world of magic. He believes the forces that have created miracles are still present in the universe and can be tapped into.

Excerpt from Real Magic (William Morrow & Company Inc) by Dr Wayne Dyer. Dr Dyer, based in the US, has a doctorate in counselling psychology, and is a well-known speaker and author. Featured in Harmony Magazine, July 2005.

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Alcoholics Anonymous is a Haven of Hope and Peace

Twice-Gifted

My physical being has certainly undergone a transformation, but the major transformation has been spiritual. The hopelessness has been replaced by abundant hope and sincere faith. The people of Alcoholics Anonymous have provided a haven where, if I remain aware and keep my mind quiet long enough, my Higher Power leads me to amazing realizations. I find joy in my daily life, in being of service, in simply being. I have found rooms full of wonderful people, and for me each and every one of the Big Book's promises have come true. The things that I have learned from my own experience, from the Big Book, and from my friends in AA - patience, acceptance, honesty, humility, and true faith in a Power greater than myself - are the tools I use today to live my life, this precious life.

Today my life is filled with miracles big and small, not one of which would ever have come to pass had I not found the door of Alcoholics Anonymous.

From; The book Alcoholics Anonymous, page 475

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Eating Problems

The Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over food - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Permission to use the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous for adaptation granted by AA World Services, Inc.

OA Program of Recovery

Overeaters Anonymous offers a program of recovery from compulsive overeating using the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of OA. Worldwide meetings and other tools provide a fellowship of experience, strength and hope where members respect one another’s anonymity. OA charges no dues or fees; it is self-supporting through member contributions.

Unlike other organizations, OA is not just about weight loss, obesity or diets; it addresses physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. It is not a religious organization and does not promote any particular diet. To address weight loss, OA encourages members to develop a food plan with a health care professional and a sponsor. If you want to stop your compulsive eating, welcome to Overeaters Anonymous.

Contact; Overeaters Anonymous

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Family Stages of Alcoholism

A family with an alcohol in its midst will go through several stages in dealing with the chaos and disruption caused by the alcoholic. These stages are described below in order of appearance.

Denial: Early in the development of alcoholism, occasional episodes of excessive drinking are explained away by both marriage partners. Drinking because of tiredness, worry, or a bad day is not unbelievable. The assumption is that the episode is isolated and is, therefore, not a problem.

Attempts to Eliminate the Problem:The non-alcoholic spouse realizes that the drinking is not normal and tries to pressure the alcoholic to quit, be more careful, or cut down. At the same time, the spouse tries to hide the problems from the outside and keep up a good.front. Children may start to have problems in response to the family stress.

Disorganization and Chaos: The family balance is beginning to break down. The spouse can no longer pretend everything is okay and spends most of the time going from crisis to crisis. Financial problems are not unusual. At this point the spouse is likely to seek outside help.

Reorganization in Spite of the Problem: The spouse’s coping abilities have become strengthened. He or she gradually assumes a larger share of the responsibility for the family. This may mean getting a job or taking over the finances. Rather than focusing on getting the alcoholic to shape up, the spouse is now taking charge and tries to foster family life, despite the alcoholism.

Efforts to Escape: Separation or divorce may be attempted. If the family remains intact, the family continues living around the alcoholic.

Family Reorganization: In the case of separation, family reorganization occurs without the alcoholic member. If the alcoholic achieves sobriety, a reconciliation may take place. Either way, both partners must realign their roles within the family and make new adjustments.

Recovery; Can occur at any stage provided there is compassion, empathy and understanding by key family members.

BriefTSF can help the understanding and set up the right conditions for recovery to begin.

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20 Questions for Gamblers

Gamblers Anonymous asks its new members to answer the following "20 Questions" in order to determine the severity of their gambling addiction:

1. Have you ever lost time from work due to gambling?

2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?

3. Has gambling affected your reputation?

4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?

5. Have you ever gambled to get money to pay debts or solve financial difficulties?

6. Has gambling ever caused a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?

7. After losing, do you feel you must return as soon as possible to win back your losses?

8. After winning, do you have a strong urge to return and win more?

9. Do you often gamble until you run out of money?

10. Have you ever borrowed money to finance your gambling?

11. Have you ever sold anything to finance your gambling?

12. Are you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?

13. Does gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself and your family?

14. Do you ever gamble longer than planned?

15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?

16. Have you ever committed or considered committing an illegal act to finance gambling?

17. Has gambling ever caused you to have difficulty sleeping?

18. Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?

19. Do you ever get the urge to celebrate any good fortune with a few hours of gambling?

20. Have you ever considered self destruction as a result of your gambling?

If you answered "yes" to seven or more of these questions, you may have a gambling addiction problem.

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Gambling Addiction: The Problem, the Pain and the Path to Recovery

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The St Francis of Assisi Prayer

Lord, make me a channel for thy peace –

that where there is hatred, I may bring love –

that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness –

that where there is discord, I may bring harmony –

that where there is error, I may bring truth –

that where there is doubt, I may bring faith –

that where there is despair, I may bring hope –

that where there are shadows, I may bring light –

that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather –

to comfort than to be comforted –

to understand, than to be understood –

to love, than to be loved

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.

It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.

It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.

Amen.

No matter where I am in my spiritual growth, the St. Francis prayer helps me improve my conscious contact with the God of my understanding.I think that one of the great advantages of my faith in God is that I do not understand Him, or Her, or It.It may be that my relationship with my Higher Power is so fruitful that I do not have to understand.All that I am certain of is that if I work the Eleventh Step regularly, as best I can, I will continue to improve my conscious contact, I will know His will for me, and I will have the power to carry it out.

Alcoholics Anonymous > Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions, p. 99

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• Subscribe to Alcoholism, ACOA & Codependency by Email" target="_blank">Subscribe to Alcoholism, ACOA & Codependency by Email' target=_blank>Subscribe to Alcoholism, ACOA & Codependency by e-Mail

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Finding God’s Will for You