Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts

Monday, March 23, 2009

No to Guilt

Today I will say no without guilt.

Today I will say no whenever it is in my best interests to do so.  Just as important, I will say no without feeling guilty or fearful.

My attempts to separate from my parents we met with threats of abandonment.  As a result, I learned to avoid having my own opinion for fear of rejection. 

Deep within me now, I feel a strong desire to become my own person, to stand free of all unhealthy attachments and discover who I am.  When I disregard my limitations and permit others to violate my boundaries, I harm myself.

Today I will love myself enough to say no when I find it necessary.  I will reassure the child within me that those who truly love me will not abandon me when I must tell them no.  No matter what the response, today I will treat myself well by saying no without guilt and fear.

- From “Affirmations for the Inner Child” by Rokelle Lerner

Monday, March 16, 2009

Kids of Addiction

Documentary gives children of addicts a voice

Children in homes in which parents use illegal drugs live in the shadows. They often are abused, neglected or become users themselves. A documentary by local filmmaker Susan Reetz is bringing their lives into the light.

Reetz released "Living in Shadows: The Innocent Victims of Meth" in September, hoping to raise awareness of the issues children face living in a home where illegal drugs are used. That life was brought into focus last week when three children were removed from a home in Schofield where drugs reportedly were present.

Reetz interviewed children, parents and grandparents who have been affected by drug use. They talk about emotional and physical neglect, sexual abuse, violence and living with drugs.

"A lot of people don't realize what kids go through when their parents are using, making and selling meth," Reetz said. "It's so prevalent in our community, and we want to sweep it under the rug. The only way we can make a difference is if our community is better informed."

Full story at The Daily Herald

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Monday, April 14, 2008

Top Posts for March 2008

Saturday, April 12, 2008

ADHD a Risk Factor for Alcoholism

A pair of new studies adds weight to the theory that children who suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are at higher risk of problem drinking during adolescence and alcoholism later in life.

"Children with ADHD are believed to be at risk for alcoholism because of their impulsivity and distractibility, as well as other problems that often accompany ADHD such as school failure and behavior problems," said Brooke Molina of the University of Pittsburgh, corresponding author for both studies.

In one study, researchers found that 15- to 17-years olds with childhood ADHD reported being drunk an average of 14 times during the previous year, compared to 1.8 times for adolescents without ADHD. Fourteen percent of the ADHD group was classified as alcohol abusers or alcohol dependent, but none of the youths in the non-ADHD group were.

"It appears that one of the reasons for the past inconsistencies in research is that the ADHD-alcohol relationship does not become solid until at least mid-adolescence," said Stephen Hinshaw, professor and chair of the department of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley. "Later on, it may be that only a subset of kids with ADHD -- namely, those with more aggressive or antisocial behavior patterns -- are at risk by young adulthood."

Researchers added that parental alcoholism and family stress add to the alcoholism risk for children with ADHD. "One of the reasons that children with ADHD might be at risk for alcohol problems is that alcoholism and ADHD tend to run together in families," said Molina. "We found that parental alcoholism predicted heavy problem drinking among the teenagers, that the association was partly explained by higher rates of stress in these families, and these connections were stronger when the adolescent had ADHD in childhood. So, the bottom line is that when the child has ADHD and the parent has suffered from alcoholism, either currently or in the past, the child will have an increased risk for alcohol problems himself or herself."

The studies were published in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research.

References: Marshal, M.P. Molina, B.S.G., Pelham, W.E., Cheong, J. (2007) Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Moderates the Life Stress Pathway to Alcohol Problems in Children of Alcoholics. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 31(4): 564-574;
Molina, B.S.G., et al. (2007) Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Risk for Heavy Drinking and Alcohol Use Disorder Is Age Specific. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 31(4): 643-654;


10 Days to a Less Defiant Child: The Breakthrough Program for Overcoming Your Child's Difficult Behavior

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Children and Alcoholic Family Roles

One model that is helpful in identifying child behaviors is that of Sharon Wegscheider (1981). In this model children adopt various coping and enabling roles.

Little caretaker

The little caretaker role is often a carbon copy of the partner of the alcoholic. They take care of the alcoholic; getting drinks, cleaning up after the alcoholic and soothing over stressful situations and events. They are validated by approval for taking responsibility for the alcoholic and their Behaviour. This little person often goes on to become a partner of an alcoholic or other dysfunctional person if they do not get treatment.

Family hero

The family hero role brings pride to the family by being successful at school or work. At home, the hero assumes the responsibilities that the enabling parent abdicates. By being overly involved in work or school, they can avoid dealing with the real problem at home and patterns of workaholism can develop. Although portraying the image of self-confidence and success, the hero may feel inadequate and experience the same stress-related symptoms as the enabler.

Scapegoat

The scapegoat role diverts attention away from the chemically dependent person’s behavior by acting out their anger. Because other family members sublimate their anger, the scapegoat has no role model for healthy expression of this normal feeling. They become at high risk for self-destructive behaviors and may be hospitalized with a variety of traumatic injuries. Although all the children are genetically vulnerable to alcoholism, this child is often considered the highest risk because of their association with risk-taking activities and peers. Although tough and defiant, the scapegoat is also in pain.

Lost child

The lost child role withdraws from family and social activities to escape the problem. Family members feel that they do not need to worry about them because they are quiet and appear content. They leave the family without departing physically by being involved with television, video games, or reading. These children do not bring attention to themselves, but also do not learn to interact with peers. Many clinicians have noted that bulimia is common in chemically dependent families and feel this child is prone to satisfy their pain through eating.

Family clown

The family clown role brings comic relief to the family. Often the youngest child, they try to get attention by being cute or funny. With family reinforcement, their behavior continues to be immature and they may have difficulty learning in school.


Another Chance: Hope and Health for the Alcoholic Family Choicemaking Girl Talk: Daily Reflections for Women of All Ages

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