Hazelden: New 'Sober24' Online Community for People in Recovery.See full details at Recovery Is Sexy
See also
-
Many articles have proved very popular over the last few years. These are the most popular.
Today I will say no without guilt.
Today I will say no whenever it is in my best interests to do so. Just as important, I will say no without feeling guilty or fearful.
My attempts to separate from my parents we met with threats of abandonment. As a result, I learned to avoid having my own opinion for fear of rejection.
Deep within me now, I feel a strong desire to become my own person, to stand free of all unhealthy attachments and discover who I am. When I disregard my limitations and permit others to violate my boundaries, I harm myself.
Today I will love myself enough to say no when I find it necessary. I will reassure the child within me that those who truly love me will not abandon me when I must tell them no. No matter what the response, today I will treat myself well by saying no without guilt and fear.
- From “Affirmations for the Inner Child” by Rokelle Lerner
Documentary gives children of addicts a voice
Children in homes in which parents use illegal drugs live in the shadows. They often are abused, neglected or become users themselves. A documentary by local filmmaker Susan Reetz is bringing their lives into the light.
Reetz released "Living in Shadows: The Innocent Victims of Meth" in September, hoping to raise awareness of the issues children face living in a home where illegal drugs are used. That life was brought into focus last week when three children were removed from a home in Schofield where drugs reportedly were present.
Reetz interviewed children, parents and grandparents who have been affected by drug use. They talk about emotional and physical neglect, sexual abuse, violence and living with drugs.
"A lot of people don't realize what kids go through when their parents are using, making and selling meth," Reetz said. "It's so prevalent in our community, and we want to sweep it under the rug. The only way we can make a difference is if our community is better informed."
Full story at The Daily Herald
See also;
I can never drink again. I am an alcoholic. Alcohol temporarily fills a hole inside me when I am feeling incomplete or unhappy. I have been sober for a few months, but could very easily get lost into it again if I were to re-indulge in that escape. Alcohol doesn’t fix my problems, but just temporarily numbs my conscious mind of acknowledging them. They will stay there. A fifth of vodka will only offer temporary relief.
Full story at Daily Nexus
See also;
The Nar-Anon Family Groups are a worldwide fellowship for those affected by someone else’s addiction. As a Twelve-Step Program, we offer our help by sharing our experience, strength, and hope.
Nar-Anon’s Purpose
Nar-Anon is a twelve-step program designed to help relatives and friends of addicts recover from the effects of living with an addicted relative or friend. Nar-Anon’s program of recovery uses Nar-Anon’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. The only requirement to be a member and attend Nar-Anon meetings is that there is a problem of drugs or addiction in a relative or friend. Nar-Anon is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity.
Contact; Nar-Anon
See also;
Partner’s Criticism Linked to Relapse
A new study published in Behavior Therapy apparently confirms that Al-Anon’s purpose of offering "understanding and encouragement" to those with drinking problems is best approach family members can take in dealing with the situation.
The study, conducted by William Fals-Stewart of the State University of New York at Buffalo, found that men recovering from substance abuse are less successful if they believe their spouse or partner is critical of them, rather than supportive.
The study found that of 106 married men studied, those who reported greater criticism from their partners were more likely to have relapsed, regardless of the severity of their drug problem, age or race.
Al-Anon is a support groups for those who are affected by someone else’s drinking. In the "preamble" which is read at most Al-Anon meetings, it says:
"Compared to treatments for substance abuse that do not involve spouses, individuals who get couples treatment have much better outcomes -- less drug use, fewer arrests, greater likelihood to remain abstinent from drugs," Fals-Stewart told Reuters.
Other findings of the study include:
Fals-Stewart said relapses themselves may increase criticism from a spouse, who may be especially disappointed by the failure of treatment.
See also;
The Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) program for beating alcohol addiction has a long history and has helped millions of people around the world back to health.
It works as a 12-step program - the Steps being the program of the system which guide the user away from their dysfunctional relationship with drink. The 12-steps involve belief in and surrender to a ’higher’ power which the AA people always stress need not be a formal ’God’. So does the 12-step approach work for those who are not religious?
Researchers at the Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Addiction Program studied a group of 227 alcoholics. Those enrolled in a 12-step program like Alcoholics Anonymous did better than those who did not. It is the camaraderie and support you get in the 12-step program that likely provides the benefit, the researchers say.
Source; Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research August 2006
See also;
Alcoholics should avoid excessive physical and emotional stress during early abstinence.
Researchers have found that an important system (The HPA axis) of the body that regulates stress, hunger and illness is “stunned” during alcoholic drinking.
The researchers tested alcoholics in early recovery (less than 12 months) and found that the HPA axis recovers after about 8 weeks.
Any stress can trigger an abnormal response but moderate to extreme stress can be dangerous to abstinence and may trigger a relapse.
Reference; May 2007 issue of Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research.
Recovery Blogger's comments;
The most dangerous time for recovery from alcoholism is the first 3 months. Many do not stay sober in the first 3 months.
Some alcoholics have been known to exercise to extreme attempting to restore physical prowess and then wondered why.
Others have been known to attempt to restore money and work related problems by working long hours or several jobs. They too have found difficulty staying sober.
Still others have been known to try restoring family or marriage relationships too early and have found it very stressful or a threat to sobriety.
This research may explain why.
Alcoholics Anonymous advises;
’Easy Does It’
The slogan "Easy Does It" is one way we A.A.’s remind each other that many of us have tendencies at times to overdo things, to rush heedlessly along, impatient with anything that slows us down. We find it hard to relax and savor life.
When one of us is in a dither to get something done or get somewhere in a hurry, a friend may gently remonstrate, "’Easy Does It,’ remember?" Then there’s often a flash of annoyance at the adviser. And that indicates the advice must have hit home, wouldn’t you say?
Page 44 of Living Sober, AA Inc (1975)
See also;
 | Cool Water: Alcoholism, Mindfulness, and Ordinary Recovery by William Alexander Read more about this title... |
 | The Recovery Book by Arlene Eisenberg, Howard Eisenberg, Al J. Mooney Read more about this title... |
Many people have dysfunctional beliefs.
Not all of these are in one person but if there is a great many then that person may be dysfunctional. Alcoholics, addicts, codependents and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) may identify.
Some of these dysfunctional beliefs are;
That I can control my emotions.
That I can control someone else’s emotions or actions or thoughts.
That I deserve:
. . .to get something good.
. . .to get something bad.
. . .to be punished for mistakes.
. . .to be rewarded for perfection.
. . .to be rewarded for good behaviour, intentions, thoughts, feelings, whatever.
That I can "make" sense out of anything.
That I am responsible for
. . .for achieving other peoples success.
. . .for other people’s feelings, thoughts or actions.
That I am not responsible for my own actions; that it is all someone else’s fault.
That my feelings have to be acted on. (e.g., when I’m afraid, I should attack or flee.)
That I can solve other people’s problems; or that they can solve mine.
That wishing or wanting equals doing.
That I am capable of a "perfect action."
That if I do something somebody doesn’t like, even if that person is totally unreasonable, I am bad.
That if only I had the right tools, I could do it right.
That if I do nothing about it; if I can erase myself or disappear; the problem will go away.
That I have to be careful not to make other people angry.
That lying changes reality.
That other people’s expectations of me have to be lived up to.
That if only I do the right thing, everything will turn out okay.
That if only I think the right thoughts, everything will turn out okay.
That if only I feel the right feelings, everything will turn out okay.
That those who hurt me deserve to be punished for their "sins," and if God doesn’t punish them, I should.
That I can punish someone by hurting myself.
That if I am "weak" (vulnerable, helpless, needing assistance), then I am just like my dad/mom who I had to care for as a child.
That if I sit and do nothing in my chair, I am useless.
That I am "wrong," "imperfect," or "not the way I’m supposed to be."
That my guilt is the right way of defining myself.
That my charm is the right way of defining myself for other people.
That I can not talk and still get better.
That. . . . . . . . .
See also;
Men have a four times greater chance of being an alcoholic if their fathers are alcoholic. That’s been known for a long time.
Now we know that women also can inherit alcoholic genes.
A long held myth is that women’s conditioning as women is more likely to protect some of them from developing alcoholism even though they have parents who are alcoholic.
Also, twins who have an alcoholic identical twin are much more likely to be alcoholic themselves than are twins who had an alcoholic fraternal twin (from different eggs). This is equally true in women and in men.
More surprisingly, men who have an alcoholic twin sister have very high rates of alcoholism.
It has also been found that women with an alcoholic identical twin sister are six times more likely to be alcohol dependent than other women.
Nonidentical twins, who are not more alike genetically than ordinary sisters, are three times more likely to be alcohol dependent if their twin had a drinking problem.
"It used to be believed that depression predicted increased risk of alcohol problems in women, whereas a history of childhood behavior problems predicted alcoholism risk in men.
We found that depression is a potent predictor for alcohol dependence in both men and women," said Heath, one of the researchers. "A history of behavior problems also is as strong a predictor in women than in men -- slightly more powerful in women, in fact."
Heath hopes the study will serve as a warning sign for women who know they have alcoholic relatives. "Our hope is that our research will refocus attention on alcohol problems in women, particularly women at genetic risk with relatively mild alcohol problems that often go undetected by families and physicians," he said.
"Often, these people don’t get treatment -- until it is too late. Despite what people used to believe about differences in the causes of alcoholism in women and men, it is the similarities rather than the differences that are most striking. As increasing numbers of young women drink heavily, rates of alcoholism in women are likely to increase."
Heath AC, Bucholz KK, Madden PAF, Dinwiddie SH, Slutske WS, Bierut LJ, Statham DJ, Dunne MP, Whitfield JB, Martin NG. "Genetic and Environmental Contributions to Alcohol Dependence Risk in a National Twin Sample -- Consistency of Findings in Women and Men". Psychological Medicine. 27(6):1381-1396, 1997 November.
See also;
Comments and silent responses overheard at an Al-anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics meeting.
When we suspect the motives of others, who have done nothing other than to make a friendly comment, we would do well to suspect that we are the one with the problem. When we recognize it's our insecurity at play here, we can begin to override the negative self-talk with positive talk.
At first we may have to force ourselves to reply, "Yes, I'd love to have lunch," or "Thank you," to a compliment. As our self-esteem grows it will become natural and genuine to assume people mean what they say.
I will try not to read negatives into comments by others.
"If you don't love yourself, nobody else will. Not only that - you won't be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self."
See also;
=======================
|
12 Promises for Recovery Beginners
A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE TWELVE STEPS
A problem shared is a problem halved
Addiction is a disease, not a lifestyle
Adult children of alcoholics can practice
Alcohol Characteristics and Effects
Alcohol is toxic and damages the brain
Am I an Alcoholic? - Questionnaire.
Anti-Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking?
Atheists, Agnostics and Alcoholics Anonymous
Causes & consequences of alcohol-related brain shrinkage
Child sexual abuse in Aboriginal communities
Craving reduction drug for alcohol AND smoking
Dr Bob’s story of the AA Camel
Drinking Causes Gout Flare-ups
Ego Quotes with Narcissistic Tendencies
Emotional Bankruptcy or Alexthymia
Facial features of fetal alcohol syndrome
FDA Steps Up Warnings on Chantix
Functional and Dysfunctional Couples
God Help Me, Spiritual Pleasures can Replace Drug Addiction
Harm to Partners, Wives, Husbands of Alcoholics
Harmful Effects of Alcohol on Sexual Behaviour
Helping an alcoholic is possible in right circumstances
How alcohol affects the drinker
How Alcoholics Anonymous is changing
Methadone and alcohol abuse don’t mix
Narcissism and alcoholism recovery
Partner Enabling of Alcoholism
Patterns of Co-dependence and ACOA’s
Physical Effects of Alcohol on Women
Professional Alcoholism Training
Recovery MP3 tracks for all 12-Step Fellowships
Sleep problems affect alcoholism recover
Smoking and Erectile Dysfunction
The Adult Children of Alcoholics Laundry List
The Dynamics of an Alcoholic’s Family
Types of Dysfunctional Families
Verification of C. G. Jung's Analysis of Roland Hazard and the History of Alcoholics Anonymous
Wellbriety Recovery for Native Americans
Relapse prevention the Alcoholics Anonymous way is proactive action.
One form of these strategies is The AA Six Pack, which says;
Don’t Drink
Go to meetings
Ask for help
Get a sponsor
Join a home group
Get active (in the program)
These are practiced so as to ensure immunity, an insurance policy against the first drink.
Family, friends and counselors can encourage people to adhere to this plan.
AA says;
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, …
Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely (AA, pp 58).
Half measures availed us nothing (AA, pp 59).
Another AA informal catchphrase is; ‘Ring, before you drink’ indicating one should phone ones peer sponsor before picking up the first drink.
These are some of the main tools used by AA members to achieve and maintain sobriety.
Meetings: Meetings are the main place where patients learn how the program works and share their experiences, strengths and hope with others. Clients learn in meetings that their struggles and troubles are not unique, and gain the hope and assurance that they can recover and grow.
Sharing at meetings: Clients being honest and vulnerable in front of peers is frightening but worth it. Many believe that recovery in direct proportion to their willingness to share at meetings.
Telephoning: Advise patients to use the phone to contact members of AA between meetings.
Support system: Encourage clients to meet with other AA members over coffee to discuss their program so that they can learn that they are not alone and also allows them to get another perspective on their problems.
Reading and working the steps: Encourage patients to read AA literature, especially the Big Book, to better understand and work the program.
Sponsorship: Advise clients to ask others for help, including their AA sponsor as well as other members in the Program.
Balancing: To maintain and help build balance in their lives, help clients to understand that working at relationships with people other than AA members will enhance recovery.
Reading daily meditations: Many recovering alcoholics read a mediation book with breakfast each day to help keep the focus on recovery. The AA book ‘Daily Reflections’ or ‘One Day at a Time’ are recommended.
From the BriefTSF education manuals.
See also;
 | A Hole in the Sidewalk: The Recovering Person's Guide to Relapse Prevention by Claudia Black Read more about this title... |
Alcoholics Anonymous is known for the diversity of its membership, with A.A. members from every walk of life sitting side by side in the approximately 60,000 A.A. groups in the United States and Canada. Over the years, though, professionals-doctors, lawyers, airplane pilots, and others-have established a few A.A. groups for those in their field.
Given their common concerns and issues, these members have found A.A. meetings with peers useful. Such groups, which are autonomous along with every other A.A. group, are usually found in large metropolitan areas. They function as any other A.A. meeting.
Among their other purposes, these groups can allay the fears of new A.A. members who may feel more comfortable in a meeting of their peers. The preamble read at “Birds of a Feather” A.A. meetings, which are attended by airline cockpit crew members, refers to the “occupational sensitivity of its members.”
One of the hurdles facing those seeking help in A.A. may be fear of exposure or the shameful sense that their problem is unique to them. Local A.A. offices-called central offices or intergroups- sometimes have lists of A.A. members willing to talk one-on-one with a person seeking information about Alcoholics Anonymous. On these lists are representatives of many professions who will be able to reassure a prospective A.A. member that they are not alone.
There are also A.A. groups for women, men, gays, lesbians, and young people, among others. Information on where to find these groups or any other local meetings is available at A.A. offices around the country.
In the early stages alcoholics can be helped into recovery, see Brief-TSF can assist patients cease alcohol consumption.
Relapse prevention the Alcoholics Anonymous way is proactive action.
One form of these strategies is The AA Six Pack, which says;
These are practiced so as to ensure immunity, an insurance policy against the first drink.
Family, friends and counselors can encourage people to adhere to this plan.
AA says;
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, …
Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely (AA, pp 58).
Half measures availed us nothing (AA, pp 59).
Another AA informal catchphrase is; ‘Ring, before you drink’ indicating one should phone ones peer sponsor before picking up the first drink.
These are some of the main tools used by AA members to achieve and maintain sobriety.
From the Brief-TSF education manuals.
Affirmations for the Inner Child
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Alcohol & Other Drug Recovery
Amazon.com: Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics: Books: Herbert L. Gravitz,Julie D. Bowden