Monday, November 30, 2009
World AIDS Day raises awareness in the community about HIV/AIDS, and the need to support and understand those living with HIV/AIDS. The day also promotes the importance and need for education/prevention initiatives. Services such as Needle Exchange Programs (NSP) assist in preventing the spread of blood borne viruses such as HIV/AIDS, hepatitis B and C. ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
I craved freedom.
- First, freedom to drink;
- later, freedom from drink.
The A.A. program of recovery rests on a foundation of free choice.
There are no mandates, laws or commandments. A.A.’s spiritual program, as outlined in the Twelve Steps, and by which I am offered even greater freedoms, is only suggested. I can take it or leave it. Sponsorship is offered, not forced, and I come and go as I will....Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Being dependent on others almost comes natural when we are in a state of confusion.
We seek others opinions, beliefs, and advice. What others say, if we place them in a position of authority, becomes "The Word." ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Want to give your man a thrilling experience like never before? Here are 5 really simple ways to make your lovemaking hotter, steamier and more passionate, starting tonight! ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
The following was recently shared on an Adult Children of Alcoholics e-mail group and I was so taken with it I decided to post it here with the permission of its author. Enjoy.
Masculine Grief is Different...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
AA's spirituality is often misunderstood.
In September 2007, the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in favour of Ricky Inouye, a Buddhist drug offender who was sent back to prison after dropping out of a treatment program based on Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Inouye sued the state of Hawaii, maintaining that AA is a religious program and that being required to attend it is a violation of the First Amendment....Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Overheard at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, this 12th-step conversation between sponsor and newcomer:
"Tom, I've spent years and years looking for that ideal relationship. I searched for someone I could trust, and who would trust me....Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Try to adopt the following approaches to your alcoholic / addict;
1. Try to learn the facts about alcoholism and other drug addiction. Keep an open mind.
2. Recognize addiction for what it is-a disease of the body, mind, behavior, and spirit from which people can and do recover. Like other diseases, nobody really intends to get it or wish it upon their loved ones once they have it. Try to remember that the alcoholic / addict in your family isn't doing this at you. This is a disease beyond will power....Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Most, however, believe that they could stay sober for a twenty-four hour period, if necessary. ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
The World Federation Against Drugs (WFAD) is a multilateral community of non-governmental organisations and individuals. Founded in 2009, the aim of WFAD is to work for a drug-free world. The members of the WFAD share a common concern that illicit drug use is undercutting traditional values and threatening the existence of stable families, communities, and government institutions throughout the world....Note: Cross posted from Alcohol Self-Help News.
Addicted to Love: Sex, Love & Compulsion
Living tales of Pleasure and Pain
- Ben is a successful attorney. Married with three children, his life looks exemplary and he seems destined for great public achievement. But Ben also leads a secret life, revolving around visits to prostitutes and adult book stores. Lately, he's taken to cruising the World Wide Web, downloading porn and searching for partners in electronic chat rooms and online hook-up sites. ...
Adapted from "Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth" by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse; Health Communications, Inc., 1987.
Anger is a word we apply to a wide range of feelings. . .
- Anger can be as simple as a minor irritation. ...
Psychopathology of Children with Alcohol Dependent Fathers.
SUMMARY; Objective: In this study, we aimed to research cognitive, behavioural and psychopathological differences between children of fathers with alcohol dependency (ACOA’s) and children of fathers without alcohol dependency (non-ACOA’s). ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Top 10 Women's Sexual Fantasies
Women in recovery may identify with some of these fantasies. Others may have experienced them in their drinking / drugging days.
Every woman on earth has fantasized about some explicit sexual fantasy that she may or may not have been too ashamed to talk about. Whether it's your girlfriend or your wife, this top ten list is sure to touch on a forbidden fantasy of her own....Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Don’t make it easy for the drinker to keep on drinking
Discontinuing “enabling,” along with putting the onus for the drinker’s behavior and its consequences on the drinker.
Do not cover up for them. Let them be responsible for their actions. ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Detach, separate, walk away
Somewhat at odds with the message of continuing love and compassion is the more "tough-love" message that comes from many people – some of whom give both suggestions. ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Take care of yourself
"Live a full life of your own."
"Make sure you live a life of your own that does not depend on the undependable person."
"Carry on with your life after you’ve let the alcoholic know you aren’t babysitting anymore." ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Be there for them when they’re ready
Most comments on this subject go like this: "Be available when the alcoholic reaches out." "When they hold out their hand for help, grab it." "Help as many times as you are asked. Be there." ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Learn about the disease
This is a bit like the picture at left – can you see other faces in the flowers and the disease of alcoholism?
Understand the nature of the chemical alcohol, how alcohol affects the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic in different ways, and why the alcoholic continues to drink when drinking is obviously harming them. Learn about the early-, middle-, and late-stage symptoms of the disease and how these symptoms change as the alcoholic continues to drink. Learn about the underlying physiological changes, including adaption, tolerance, physical dependence, and the withdrawal syndrome, all of which have a profound effect on the alcoholic’s behaviour. Finally, learn why the alcoholic needs to drink, why he becomes irritable, frustrated, and depressed when he is not drinking, and why his sincere promises to stop drinking are washed away like writing on sand....Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Dysfunction people have many beliefs. Not all of these are in one person but if there is a great many then that person may be dysfunctional.
Alcoholics, addicts, codependents and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) may identify with these.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles.
-- Bernard M. Baruch
Naturally, we wish to avoid pain and difficulty, but life experience and a measure of reflection show us that most of what comes our way is beyond our control. We'll never outwit all the possibilities for trouble, even if we live to be 100 years old. We have often failed to learn from trouble because we cast ourselves in the roles of passive men and victims. We pointed outside ourselves and said, "Look at what is happening to poor me!" ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Rediscovering your sexuality in recovery may hold many pleasurable surprises. One of these is the discovery of your G spot. You have always had it but may have been too stoned / drunk to notice its subtle, but satisfying, effect on your orgasm. ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
MP3 recovery tracks for lesbians in Alcoholics Anonymous at XA Speaker site.
Click on the link to go to a description of the track.
Or see link at bottom for XA Speaker home page.
NB: Some MP3 tracks may include gay and bisexual recovery stories....Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
You and your partner can rediscover intimacy and pleasure with these tips....Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
People in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, co-dependency and compulsive gambling often find themselves alone again.
But, there is no need to be lonesome whether heterosexual, gay, lesbian – male or female....Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
"Seeking sexual satisfaction is a basic desire, and masturbation is often our first teen natural sexual activity. It's the way we discover our eroticism, the way we learn to respond sexually, the way we learn to love ourselves and to build self-esteem." -Betty Dodson, renowned artist, author and sex educator ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
“I need somebody to love,” sang the Beatles, and they got it right. Love and health are intertwined in surprising ways. Humans are wired for connection, and when we cultivate good relationships, the rewards are immense. But we’re not necessarily talking about spine-tingling romance. ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Women in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, co-dependency, compulsive gambling and ACOA may find this article helpful....Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
“The increasing popularity of consumption of caffeinated alcoholic beverages by college students and reports of potential health and safety issues necessitates that we look seriously at the scientific evidence as soon as possible.” -- Dr. Joshua Sharfstein, Principal Deputy Commissioner of Food and Drugs, FD...Note: Cross posted from Alcohol Self-Help News.
The AA Preamble is;
A statement which briefly explains the purpose of AA. The preamble is read at the beginning of most AA meetings. Is is based on a portion of the foreword to the first edition of the Big Book.
Defining Alcoholics Anonymous
Following is the definition of A.A. appearing in the Fellowship's basic literature and cited frequently at meetings of A.A. groups: ...Note: Cross posted from Recovery Is Sexy.com.
They realized that alcoholism was a disease that could be treated by a system of applying spiritual values to daily living.
Both men began working with themselves and with other alcoholics.
In four years, there were three groups and 100 sober alcoholics.
In 1939, based on their experiences (both the failures and the successes), the fellowship published its basic textbook, Alcoholics Anonymous, describing the AA philosophy and methods, and establishing the Twelve Steps. This book has been in continuous publication since then. Although it has been revised and updated, the Twelve Steps have remained the core, touching the lives of a countless number of people around the world.
Shortly after the founding of AA, the families and friends of alcoholics banded together to form AL-ANON, an organization that teaches the Twelve Steps to individuals who are most affected by the alcoholics in their lives.
Since then, other groups have adopted the AA philosophy and successfully applied it to many problems.
- drug abuse (such as Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Crystal Meth Anonymous),
- support for substance abusers’ family and friends (such as AL-ANON, ALATEEN, NARANON, Co-dependents Anonymous),
- other addictive problems (such as Debtors Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Workaholics Anonymous, Eating Addictions Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous),
- relationship issues (such as Incest Survivors Anonymous, Relationships Anonymous, and Parents Anonymous), as well as
- mental health issues (such as Obsessive-Compulsive Anonymous, and Emotions Anonymous).
ACOA's often transfer behaviour learned in childhood into other adult spheres of life. In true co-dependency style these often confuse and confound us.
Some of these are;
- We confuse our boss or supervisor with our alcoholic parents and have similar relationship patterns, behaviors, and reactions that are carryovers from childhood.
- We confuse our co-workers with our siblings or our alcoholic parents and repeat childhood reactions in those working relationships.
- We expect lavish praise and acknowledgment from our boss for our efforts on the job.
- Authority figures scare us and we feel afraid when we need to talk to them.
- We get a negative gut reaction when dealing with someone who has the physical characteristics or mannerisms of our alcoholic parent.
- We have felt isolated and different from everyone around us, but we don't really know why.
- We lose our temper when things upset us rather than dealing with problems productively.
- We busy ourselves with our co-workers' jobs, often telling them how to do their work.
- We can get hurt feelings when co-workers do things socially together without asking us, even though we have not made an effort to get to know them and join in the social life.
- We are afraid to make the first move to get to know a co-worker better, thinking they will not like us or approve of us.
- We usually do not know how to ask for what we want or need on the job, even for little things.
- We do not know how to speak up for ourselves when someone has said or done something inappropriate. We try desperately to avoid face-to-face confrontations.
- We are sensitive and can get extremely upset with any form of criticism of our work.
- We want to be in charge of every project or activity, feeling more comfortable when we are in control of every detail, rather than letting others be responsible.
- We may be the workplace "clown" to cover up our insecurities or to get attention from others.
- We are people-pleasers and may take on extra work, or our co-worker's tasks, in order to be liked and receive approval from others.
- We do not know how to be assertive in getting our needs met or expressing a concern. We may have to repeatedly rehearse our comments before delivering them.
- We have felt that we do not deserve a raise, promotion, better workspace, or a better job.
- We do not know how to set boundaries, and we let others interrupt us. We can accept more work without knowing how to say ‘no’ appropriately.
- We are perfectionists about our own work and expect others to be the same and have the same work ethics and values.
- We become workaholics because it gives us a feeling of self-worth we did not get as a child.
- We may jump from job to job, looking for the perfect position as the substitute for the secure and nurturing home environment we did not have.
- We get upset when people do things that affect us or our work without asking us first.
- We have a high tolerance for workplace dysfunction and tend to stick it out in an unhappy job because we lack the self-esteem to leave.
After the ACOA laundry list of characterisation.
See also;Recovery Is Sexy.com.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
People in recovery are always in danger of switching addictions from alcohol, drugs, gambling or co-dependency. This article may help if one follows the tips before a real addiction develops.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Spiritual Awakening is a process that happens within us. It is recognizing that a power greater than ourselves exists and can assist us if we will just ask for help and guidance. We do not have to “do it on our own.”
Friday, November 13, 2009
Specific characteristics of male partners, relationships and women’s mental health are significantly related to exposure to intimate partner violence in the past year. Identification of these indicators has implications for the clinical care of women who present to health care settings.
Alcohol Self-Help News
Study lead author Brooke Rossi, M.D., of Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston said the research showed that even moderate drinking could impair IVF.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The AUDIT was developed under the auspices of the World Health Organization and has become the main instrument used to identify ‘at-risk’, problem, and alcoholic drinkers.
I like to watch comedy too. I think that joy and laughter is very healing. There is a book and a movie called “The Anatomy of an Illness”. In that story the author explains how joy healed him when nothing else could.
Monday, November 9, 2009
What is your experience with people in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, codependency, and ACOA.
Were they sexy when practicing their dysfunctional behaviour?
Have they become more attractive since being in recovery?
Cast your vote in this poll.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
The number 13 represents bad luck for some people, but for Floyd McCrory of Rockville, Md., it’s a sign of continuing good fortune.
This year, he celebrates 13 years of sobriety.
“Best thing I ever did,” he said about quitting drinking. “It turned my whole life around.”
Bored? Masturbation. Angry? Masturbation. Sad? Masturbation. Stressed? Masturbation. I went from being the first of my class to the very bottom, until I dropped out for good.