Alcoholism, ACOA & Codependency: Addiction

Showing posts with label Addiction. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Recovery Is Sexy.com is For Sale

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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Alcohol Intervention

Brief Twelve Step Facilitation is research based and written by a long term recovered alcoholic who is a professionally trained welfare therapist.

It is a method to begin to create awareness of alcoholism, break down denial and connect alcoholics or problem drinkers with Alcoholics Anonymous.

By using the processes in this manual you can start and give ongoing support to a person on the road to recovery from alcoholism. It is suitable for treatment resistant, previously treated and newcomers to treatment. The processes are gentle incorporating Motivational Interviewing, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Twelve Step Facilitation.

It may also be complimentary to any 12 Step peer helping.

Buy and down load the e-book; now only $7.00 a copy.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Healthy Sexuality for Co-dependents

Image via Wikipedia

Many areas of our life need healing.

One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and beliefs about our sexuality, our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to respect ourselves sexually, our ability to let go of sexual shame and confusion, may all be impaired or confused by our co-dependency.

Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love - for others or ourselves.

Some of us were sexually abused as children. Some of us may have gotten involved in sexuality addictive behaviors - compulsive sexual behaviors that got out of control and produced shame.

Some of us may have gotten involved in sexual co-dependency: not paying attention to what we wanted, or didn't want, sexually; allowing ourselves to get involved sexually because it was what the other person wanted; shutting off our sexuality along with our other feelings; denying ourselves healthy enjoyment of ourselves as sexual beings.

Our sexuality is a part of ourselves that deserves healing attention and energy. It is a part of us that we can allow to become connected to the whole of us; it is a part of us that we can stop being ashamed of.

It is okay and healthy to allow our sexual energy to open up and become healed. It is connected to our creativity and to our heart. We do not have to allow our sexual energy to control our relationships or us. We can establish and maintain healthy, appropriate boundaries around our sexuality. We can discover what that means in our life.

We can enjoy the gift of being human beings who have been given the gift of sexual energy, without abusing or discounting that gift.

Today, I will begin to integrate my sexuality into the rest of my personality. God, help me let go of my fears and shame around my sexuality. Show me the issues I need to face concerning my sexuality. Help me open myself to healing in that area of my life.

Buy today >> The Language of Letting Go

Monday, October 25, 2010

Online Community for People in Recovery

Hazelden: New 'Sober24' Online Community for People in Recovery.

See full details at Recovery Is Sexy

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Dual Recovery Anonymous

Dual Recovery Anonymous is an independent, nonprofessional, twelve step, self-help fellowship organization for people with a dual diagnosis. Our goal is to help men and women who experience a dual illness. We are chemically dependent (alcoholic / addict) and we are also affected by an emotional or psychiatric illness. Both illnesses affect us in all areas of our lives; physically, psychologically, socially, and spiritually.

The many terms of dual disorders

The term dual diagnosis is often used interchangeably with the terms co-morbidity, co-occurring illnesses, concurrent disorders, comorbid disorders, co-occurring disorder, dual disorder, and, double trouble. Professional literature has used a confusing array of terms and acronyms to describe co-occurring disorders or a dual diagnosis.

Many problems

Individuals who experience a dual diagnosis often face a wide range of psychosocial issues and may experience multiple interacting illnesses (more than two). The term "co-occurring disorders" is becoming a common term used to refer to dual diagnosis, or co-occurring substance abuse disorders and psychiatric or emotional illnesses.

Dual Recovery Anonymous defines "dual diagnosis" as meaning that an individual has two separate but very interrelated diagnoses:

A psychiatric diagnosis
A substance abuse diagnosis which may include both drugs and alcohol

An individual is in dual recovery when they are actively following a program that focuses on their recovery needs for both their chemical dependency and their psychiatric illness.

Our Second Tradition states that: "D.R.A. has two requirements for membership;

a desire to stop using alcohol and other intoxicating drugs, and
a desire to manage our emotional or psychiatric illness in a healthy and constructive way."

More at; Dual Recovery Anonymous

See also;

The Dual Disorders Recovery Book by Anonymous Anonymous

The Twelve Steps And Dual Disorders: A Framework Of Recovery For Those Of Us With Addiction & An Emotional Or Psychiatric Illness by Pat Samples

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Alcoholism, ACOA Top Posts

Many articles have proved very popular over the last few years. These are the most popular.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Kids of Addiction

Documentary gives children of addicts a voice

Children in homes in which parents use illegal drugs live in the shadows. They often are abused, neglected or become users themselves. A documentary by local filmmaker Susan Reetz is bringing their lives into the light.

Reetz released "Living in Shadows: The Innocent Victims of Meth" in September, hoping to raise awareness of the issues children face living in a home where illegal drugs are used. That life was brought into focus last week when three children were removed from a home in Schofield where drugs reportedly were present.

Reetz interviewed children, parents and grandparents who have been affected by drug use. They talk about emotional and physical neglect, sexual abuse, violence and living with drugs.

"A lot of people don't realize what kids go through when their parents are using, making and selling meth," Reetz said. "It's so prevalent in our community, and we want to sweep it under the rug. The only way we can make a difference is if our community is better informed."

Full story at The Daily Herald

Monday, June 30, 2008

Family Groups for Addiction

The Nar-Anon Family Groups are a worldwide fellowship for those affected by someone else’s addiction. As a Twelve-Step Program, we offer our help by sharing our experience, strength, and hope.

Nar-Anon’s Purpose

Nar-Anon is a twelve-step program designed to help relatives and friends of addicts recover from the effects of living with an addicted relative or friend. Nar-Anon’s program of recovery uses Nar-Anon’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. The only requirement to be a member and attend Nar-Anon meetings is that there is a problem of drugs or addiction in a relative or friend. Nar-Anon is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity.

Nar-Anon’s Twelve Steps

We admitted we were powerless over the Addict -- that our lives have become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people whenever possible except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Contact; Nar-Anon

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Spouses of Alcoholics

Partner’s Criticism Linked to Relapse

A new study published in Behavior Therapy apparently confirms that Al-Anon’s purpose of offering "understanding and encouragement" to those with drinking problems is best approach family members can take in dealing with the situation.

The study, conducted by William Fals-Stewart of the State University of New York at Buffalo, found that men recovering from substance abuse are less successful if they believe their spouse or partner is critical of them, rather than supportive.

The study found that of 106 married men studied, those who reported greater criticism from their partners were more likely to have relapsed, regardless of the severity of their drug problem, age or race.

Al-Anon is a support groups for those who are affected by someone else’s drinking. In the "preamble" which is read at most Al-Anon meetings, it says:

Al-Anon has but one purpose to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.

"Compared to treatments for substance abuse that do not involve spouses, individuals who get couples treatment have much better outcomes -- less drug use, fewer arrests, greater likelihood to remain abstinent from drugs," Fals-Stewart told Reuters.

Other findings of the study include:

Of the 106 men in the study, half had relapsed after a year of treatment.
Most of the men perceived their partner to be moderately critical of them, with only 2 percent saying they were not critical at all, and 29 percent saying they were "very critical."
Older men were more likely to perceive criticism, as were those involved in more distressed relationships.
The study noted the men’s perceived criticism, rather than how much and how often their partners actually criticized them.

Fals-Stewart said relapses themselves may increase criticism from a spouse, who may be especially disappointed by the failure of treatment.

See also;

Friday, June 20, 2008

12 Rewards of Recovery

Twelve Step fellowships such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-anon, Cocaine Anonymous and others don’t just address the substance or overt behaviour. In progressing through the 12 Steps other benefits will be realized. These are know as the rewards of recovery. One example is;

THE TWELVE REWARDS OF SOBRIETY

By Searcy W., 55 years sober as at 2001 aged 90.

Faith instead of despair.
Courage instead of fear.
Hope instead of desperation.
Peace of mind instead of confusion.
Real friendships instead of loneliness.
Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
A clean conscious instead of a sense of guilt.
The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt.
A clean pattern of living instead of a hopeless existence.
The love and understanding of our families instead of their doubts and fears.
The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession.

Monday, June 16, 2008

AA Works for Alcoholism

The Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) program for beating alcohol addiction has a long history and has helped millions of people around the world back to health.

It works as a 12-step program - the Steps being the program of the system which guide the user away from their dysfunctional relationship with drink. The 12-steps involve belief in and surrender to a ’higher’ power which the AA people always stress need not be a formal ’God’. So does the 12-step approach work for those who are not religious?

Researchers at the Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Addiction Program studied a group of 227 alcoholics. Those enrolled in a 12-step program like Alcoholics Anonymous did better than those who did not. It is the camaraderie and support you get in the 12-step program that likely provides the benefit, the researchers say.

Source; Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research August 2006

See also;

Thursday, June 12, 2008

20 Tips for Stress Relief

For most people in today’s world, stress is a fact of life.

In recovery it is especially true. Although it is impossible to eliminate all stress from daily life, it is possible to control the effect that stress has on the body and the mind. The first step in managing stress is to become aware of events in your life that cause you stress.

The causes of stress vary from person to person, so that what causes you stress may not cause stress for another person. Once you are aware of what causes you stress, the goal is to find ways to avoid or control these things.

Relaxation techniques, when used consistently, can prove effective in controlling stress by helping you reach a state of mental calm, even when in the middle of a stressful situation.

Here are twenty plus 1 things you can do to reduce or escape the stress you feel when you are unable to change a situation or to better cope with the stress of everyday living.

Twenty plus 1 Healthy Ways To Manage Stress In Recovery

Talk to someone you trust.
Learn to accept what you cannot change.
Avoid self medication.
Get enough sleep to recharge your batteries.
Take time out to play.
Do something for others.
Take one thing at a time.
Agree with somebody.
Manage your time better.
Plan ahead.
If you are ill, don’t try and carry on as if you’re not.
Develop a hobby.
Listen to music.
Eat sensibly and exercise.
Don’t put off relaxing.
Don’t be afraid to say no.
Know when you are tired and do something about it.
Delegate responsibility.
Be realistic about perfection
Don’t drink or drug.

See also;

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his young grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.He said, "my son, the battle is between 2 wolves.

One Is evil... It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is good......It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The young grandson thought about this for a minute and then asked his Grandfather, "which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee replied simply......"the one you feed."

Sunday, June 8, 2008

The acronym FRAMES

FRAMES

The acronym FRAMES captures the essence of the interventions commonly tested under the terms brief intervention and motivational interviewing.

Feedback: about personal risk or impairment (e.g., results from the AUDIT, the BriefTSF alcohol history and consequences inventory and/or from blood tests).

Responsibility: emphasis on personal responsibility for change.

Advice: giving clear advice may involve promoting total abstinence, advice to reduce drinking to safe levels or advice to seek further treatment such as BriefTSF.

Menu: of alternative options for changing drinking pattern and, jointly with the patient, setting a target; intermediate goals of reduction can be a start. Keeping a drinkers diary often helps.

Empathic interviewing: listening reflectively without cajoling or confronting; exploring with patients the reasons for change as they see their situation. Empathy is a potent determinant and motivator for change.

Self efficacy: the practitioner’s belief in the patient’s ability to change can also influence recovery. Continuing to address the problem in follow-up visits helps ensure a positive outcome. See also MET an interviewing style which enhances peoples’ belief in their ability to change (See Principles of Motivational Interviewing).

AA saying: I’m not responsible for my disease, but I am responsible for my behavior

From the BriefTSF training manuals.

See also;

Monday, June 2, 2008

25 Top Posts for May 08

10 Masturbation Myths
10 Reasons for Low Libido
10 Secrets of Happy Relationships
12-Step Speaker Tape Links
12-Step Treatment More Effective than Alternative
About Recovery is Sexy
Alcohol and Sexuality
Alcohol Side Effects
Alcoholic Family Roles
Better Oral Sex
Cannabis and mental health
Character Defects
Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics
Erotic Fantasy
First sex adventure
Hep C Factsheet
Marijuana Anonymous
Mature Women and Sex
Sensual Massage
Sex Addicts In London
Sex and Healthy Relationships in Recover
Sex for Men Over 50
Sex When Your Over 50
The Sexual G-spot, Male and Female
Which Sexual Acts Can Transmit HIV?
Women's Sexual Arousal
Women's Sexual Fantasies
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Cool Water: Alcoholism, Mindfulness, and Ordinary Recovery
by William Alexander

Read more about this title...

The Recovery Book
by Arlene Eisenberg, Howard Eisenberg, Al J. Mooney

Read more about this title...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Troubled Drinking of a Friend

Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close. The following twenty questions are designed to help you decide whether or not you need Al-Anon:

Do you worry about how much someone else drinks?
Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking?
Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking, to please you?
Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her companions?
Are plans frequently upset, or cancelled, or meals delayed because of the drinker?
Do you make threats, such as, "If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you"?
Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath?
Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s behavior?
Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking?
Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?
Do you search for hidden alcohol?
Do you often ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?
Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
Do you sometimes feel like a failure when you think of the lengths you have gone to control the drinker?
Do you think that, if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?
Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the time?
Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?

If you have answered ’yes’ to three or more of these questions, Al-Anon or Alateen may help. You can contact Al-Anon or Alateen by looking in your local telephone directory or by searching the web for Al-Anon Family Groups.

See also;

12-Step Treatment More Effective than Alternative
Al-Anon May be able to help
Alcohol intervention may help.
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Saturday, May 24, 2008

Injured Fantasies

Many people have dysfunctional beliefs.

Not all of these are in one person but if there is a great many then that person may be dysfunctional. Alcoholics, addicts, codependents and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) may identify.

Some of these dysfunctional beliefs are;

That I can control my emotions.
That I can control someone else’s emotions or actions or thoughts.
That I deserve:
. . .to get something good.
. . .to get something bad.
. . .to be punished for mistakes.
. . .to be rewarded for perfection.
. . .to be rewarded for good behaviour, intentions, thoughts, feelings, whatever.
That I can "make" sense out of anything.
That I am responsible for
. . .for achieving other peoples success.
. . .for other people’s feelings, thoughts or actions.
That I am not responsible for my own actions; that it is all someone else’s fault.
That my feelings have to be acted on. (e.g., when I’m afraid, I should attack or flee.)
That I can solve other people’s problems; or that they can solve mine.
That wishing or wanting equals doing.
That I am capable of a "perfect action."
That if I do something somebody doesn’t like, even if that person is totally unreasonable, I am bad.
That if only I had the right tools, I could do it right.
That if I do nothing about it; if I can erase myself or disappear; the problem will go away.
That I have to be careful not to make other people angry.
That lying changes reality.
That other people’s expectations of me have to be lived up to.
That if only I do the right thing, everything will turn out okay.
That if only I think the right thoughts, everything will turn out okay.
That if only I feel the right feelings, everything will turn out okay.
That those who hurt me deserve to be punished for their "sins," and if God doesn’t punish them, I should.
That I can punish someone by hurting myself.
That if I am "weak" (vulnerable, helpless, needing assistance), then I am just like my dad/mom who I had to care for as a child.
That if I sit and do nothing in my chair, I am useless.
That I am "wrong," "imperfect," or "not the way I’m supposed to be."
That my guilt is the right way of defining myself.
That my charm is the right way of defining myself for other people.
That I can not talk and still get better.
That. . . . . . . . .

See also;

10 Secretes of Happy Relationships
24 Ways to get the Rest You Need
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Compulsive Overeater?

This series of questions may help you determine if you are a compulsive overeater. Many members of Overeaters Anonymous have found that they have answered yes to many of these questions.

Do you eat when you’re not hungry?
Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?
Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after overeating?
Do you give too much time and thought to food?
Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?
Do you plan these secret binges ahead of time?
Do you eat sensibly before others and make up for it alone?
Is your weight affecting the way you live your life?
Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer), only to fall short of your goal?
Do you resent others telling you to "use a little willpower" to stop overeating?
Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet "on your own" whenever you wish?
Do you crave to eat at a definite time, day or night, other than mealtime?
Do you eat to escape from worries or trouble?
Have you ever been treated for obesity or a food-related condition?
Does your eating behavior make you or others unhappy?

See also;

12 Step Sponsor
Overeaters Anonymous
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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

6 Gamblers

1 - Professional gamblers make their living by gambling and thus consider it a profession. They are skilled in the games they choose to play and are able to control both the amount of money and time spent gambling. Thus, professional gamblers are not addicted to gambling. They patiently wait for the best bet and then try to win as much as they can.

2 - In contrast to professional gamblers, antisocial or personality gamblers use gambling as a way to get money by illegal means. They are likely to be involved in fixing horse or dog races, or playing with loaded dice or marked cards. They may attempt to use a compulsive gambling diagnosis as a legal defence.

3 - Casual social gamblers gamble for recreation, sociability and entertainment. For them, gambling may be a distraction or a form of relaxation. Gambling does not interfere with family, social or vocational obligations. Examples of such betting are the occasional poker game, Super Bowl bets, a yearly trip to Las Vegas and casual involvement in the lottery.

4 - In contrast, serious social gamblers invest more of their time in gambling. Gambling is a major source of relaxation and entertainment, yet these individuals place gambling second in importance to family and vocation. This type of gambler could be compared to a "golf nut," whose source of relaxation comes from playing golf. Serious social gamblers still maintain control over their gambling activities.

5 - The fifth type, relief and escape gamblers, gamble to find relief from feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, boredom or loneliness. They use gambling to escape from crisis or difficulties. Gambling provides an analgesic effect rather than a euphoric response. Relief and escape gamblers are not compulsive gamblers. They are identical to relief and escape drinkers.

6 - Compulsive gamblers have lost control over their gambling. For them, gambling is the most important thing in their lives. Compulsive gambling is a progressive addiction that harms every aspect of the gambler’s life. As they continue to gamble, their families, friends and employers are negatively affected. In addition, compulsive gamblers may engage in activities such as stealing, lying or embezzling which go against their moral standards. Compulsive gamblers cannot stop gambling, no matter how much they want to or how hard they try.

By Robert L. Custer, M.D.

See also;

Friday, April 18, 2008

Alcohol side effects

The Food and Drug Administration is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an a-hole.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can’t remember).
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear".
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

If it wasn`t so true it might be funny!!

See also;

Just for today card
Science of Addiction
Drugs That Affect Sex
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