What’s Your Greatest Asset? Strengths of an ACoA
Amy Eden writes about the assets of ACOA’s.
“I don’t know about you, but I sometimes feel exasperated with the emphasis on problems tied to being the offspring of alcoholics.
Today I need to hear the B side of the record, to think about our other characteristics.”
Here are her first five assets of ACOA’s.
Full post at Guess What Normal Is.
See also;========================
XA – Speaker Tape Category
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AA Primary Purpose Speaker Tapes
All AA speaker tapes are now in MP3 format. Thy can be played with Windows Media Player, I-Tunes, or the software of your choice.
Includes AA Cofounders and other AA Pioneers
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Miami Valley AA Al-anon Winter Conferences 1999 through 2006
http://www.winterconference.com/Listen.html
My best friend was going through some tough situations in her life. I was in the midst of a hard stretch too. We didn't particularly like the things we had to do in our lives. We talked about our feelings and decided that what we were going through was necessary and important, even though we didn't like it. We expressed gratitude for our lives.
"It's still a dreadful time," I said.
"Brutal," she said. "I guess we're back to the old one-day-at-a-time approach. We're so lucky. What do people do that haven't learned that gem?"
There are times when we can look at the stretch ahead and like what we see. Taking life one day at a time is still a good idea, even when things are going well.
Taking life one day at a time can be particularly useful when the road ahead looks dreadful. We may not even know where to start with some challenges. That's when taking life one day at a time is essential.
"I've been using alcohol and other drugs every day since I've been twelve years old," I said to my counselor years ago in treatment. "Now you're telling me I need to stay sober the rest of my life. Plus get a job. And a life. How am I going to do that?"
"One day at a time," she said. She was right. Sometimes I had to take life one minute at a time or one hour at a time. And all these years later, it still works.
You are reading from the book:
| 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melodie Beattie |
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An official Al-anon MP3 website
For those who don't know or have never heard of Al-anon, it is a 12-step recovery program that is the counter-part to the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step recovery program. It was initiated by Lois Wilson (the wife of Bill Wilson; one of the original founders of Alcoholics Anonymous) as a safe haven and support group for anyone who is dealing with a loved ones alcoholism (and/or drug addiction)
I have been attending Al-anon meetings for 20 years and came away from my first meeting thinking..."What a bunch of losers, as well as... I heard some interesting things here."
As a professional family substance abuse counselor, I encourage my clients to attend Al-anon and find out if it is something they wish to incorporate in their recovery. Some swear by it, others are shunned.
I have compiled a list of 16 opinions; 8 hip-hip hooray! 8 bah humbug!
See these at; The Huffington Post
Also see; Thank you and I invite you to visit my website at www.familyrecoverysolutions.com
Many articles have proved very popular over the last few years. These are the most popular.
Today I will say no without guilt.
Today I will say no whenever it is in my best interests to do so. Just as important, I will say no without feeling guilty or fearful.
My attempts to separate from my parents we met with threats of abandonment. As a result, I learned to avoid having my own opinion for fear of rejection.
Deep within me now, I feel a strong desire to become my own person, to stand free of all unhealthy attachments and discover who I am. When I disregard my limitations and permit others to violate my boundaries, I harm myself.
Today I will love myself enough to say no when I find it necessary. I will reassure the child within me that those who truly love me will not abandon me when I must tell them no. No matter what the response, today I will treat myself well by saying no without guilt and fear.
- From “Affirmations for the Inner Child” by Rokelle Lerner
Documentary gives children of addicts a voice
Children in homes in which parents use illegal drugs live in the shadows. They often are abused, neglected or become users themselves. A documentary by local filmmaker Susan Reetz is bringing their lives into the light.
Reetz released "Living in Shadows: The Innocent Victims of Meth" in September, hoping to raise awareness of the issues children face living in a home where illegal drugs are used. That life was brought into focus last week when three children were removed from a home in Schofield where drugs reportedly were present.
Reetz interviewed children, parents and grandparents who have been affected by drug use. They talk about emotional and physical neglect, sexual abuse, violence and living with drugs.
"A lot of people don't realize what kids go through when their parents are using, making and selling meth," Reetz said. "It's so prevalent in our community, and we want to sweep it under the rug. The only way we can make a difference is if our community is better informed."
Full story at The Daily Herald
See also;
Within Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous Gamblers Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics there are 2 basic types of meetings for fellowship and recovery.
The two most common kinds of 12-Step meetings are:
OPEN MEETINGS: As the term suggests, meetings of this type are open to members and their families and to anyone interested in solving a personal problem or helping someone else to solve such a problem.
Most open meetings follow a more or less set pattern, although distinctive variations have developed in some areas. A chairperson describes the program briefly for the benefit of newcomers in the audience and calls speakers who relate their personal histories and may give their personal interpretation of the program
At the end of the meeting there is usually a period for local announcements, and a treasurer passes the hat to defray costs of the meeting hall, literature, and incidental expenses. Only members are allowed to make donations. The meeting adjourns, usually followed by informal chatting over coffee or other light refreshments.
CLOSED MEETINGS: These meetings are limited to members. They provide an opportunity for members to share with one another on problems related to their problems, patterns and attempts to achieve stable sobriety. They also permit detailed discussion of various elements in the recovery program.
Guests at open meetings are reminded that any opinions or interpretations they may hear are solely those of the speaker involved. All members are free to interpret the recovery program in their own terms, but none can speak for the local group or for that fellowship as a whole.
 | 12 Steps: A Spiritual Journey (Tools for Recovery) by Friends in Recovery Read more about this title... |
For most people in today’s world, stress is a fact of life.
In recovery it is especially true. Although it is impossible to eliminate all stress from daily life, it is possible to control the effect that stress has on the body and the mind. The first step in managing stress is to become aware of events in your life that cause you stress.
The causes of stress vary from person to person, so that what causes you stress may not cause stress for another person. Once you are aware of what causes you stress, the goal is to find ways to avoid or control these things.
Relaxation techniques, when used consistently, can prove effective in controlling stress by helping you reach a state of mental calm, even when in the middle of a stressful situation.
Here are twenty plus 1 things you can do to reduce or escape the stress you feel when you are unable to change a situation or to better cope with the stress of everyday living.
Twenty plus 1 Healthy Ways To Manage Stress In Recovery
Talk to someone you trust.
Learn to accept what you cannot change.
Avoid self medication.
Get enough sleep to recharge your batteries.
Take time out to play.
Do something for others.
Take one thing at a time.
Agree with somebody.
Manage your time better.
Plan ahead.
If you are ill, don’t try and carry on as if you’re not.
Develop a hobby.
Listen to music.
Eat sensibly and exercise.
Don’t put off relaxing.
Don’t be afraid to say no.
Know when you are tired and do something about it.
Delegate responsibility.
Be realistic about perfection
Don’t drink or drug.
See also;
One evening an old Cherokee told his young grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.He said, "my son, the battle is between 2 wolves.
One Is evil... It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.
The other is good......It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The young grandson thought about this for a minute and then asked his Grandfather, "which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee replied simply......"the one you feed."
See also;
The Measure of a Man: A Spiritual Autobiography (Oprah’s Book Club)
In a codependent-alcoholic relationship, individual human rights are not respected, and this is the primary devastating factor to families dealing with alcoholism. This article outlines a code of basic human rights applicable to the non-alcoholic.
You and your children have:
See also;
Spiritual Connections: How to Find Spirituality Throughout All the Relationships in Your Life
Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close. The following twenty questions are designed to help you decide whether or not you need Al-Anon:
Do you worry about how much someone else drinks?
Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking?
Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking, to please you?
Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her companions?
Are plans frequently upset, or cancelled, or meals delayed because of the drinker?
Do you make threats, such as, "If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you"?
Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath?
Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s behavior?
Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking?
Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?
Do you search for hidden alcohol?
Do you often ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?
Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
Do you sometimes feel like a failure when you think of the lengths you have gone to control the drinker?
Do you think that, if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?
Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the time?
Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?
If you have answered ’yes’ to three or more of these questions, Al-Anon or Alateen may help. You can contact Al-Anon or Alateen by looking in your local telephone directory or by searching the web for Al-Anon Family Groups.
See also;
12 Promises for Recovery Beginners
A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE TWELVE STEPS
A problem shared is a problem halved
Addiction is a disease, not a lifestyle
Adult children of alcoholics can practice
Alcohol Characteristics and Effects
Alcohol is toxic and damages the brain
Am I an Alcoholic? - Questionnaire.
Anti-Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking?
Atheists, Agnostics and Alcoholics Anonymous
Causes & consequences of alcohol-related brain shrinkage
Child sexual abuse in Aboriginal communities
Craving reduction drug for alcohol AND smoking
Dr Bob’s story of the AA Camel
Drinking Causes Gout Flare-ups
Ego Quotes with Narcissistic Tendencies
Emotional Bankruptcy or Alexthymia
Facial features of fetal alcohol syndrome
FDA Steps Up Warnings on Chantix
Functional and Dysfunctional Couples
God Help Me, Spiritual Pleasures can Replace Drug Addiction
Harm to Partners, Wives, Husbands of Alcoholics
Harmful Effects of Alcohol on Sexual Behaviour
Helping an alcoholic is possible in right circumstances
How alcohol affects the drinker
How Alcoholics Anonymous is changing
Methadone and alcohol abuse don’t mix
Narcissism and alcoholism recovery
Partner Enabling of Alcoholism
Patterns of Co-dependence and ACOA’s
Physical Effects of Alcohol on Women
Professional Alcoholism Training
Recovery MP3 tracks for all 12-Step Fellowships
Sleep problems affect alcoholism recover
Smoking and Erectile Dysfunction
The Adult Children of Alcoholics Laundry List
The Dynamics of an Alcoholic’s Family
Types of Dysfunctional Families
Verification of C. G. Jung's Analysis of Roland Hazard and the History of Alcoholics Anonymous
Wellbriety Recovery for Native Americans
Suitable for members of Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, Alateen, ACOA, Naranon, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous and anybody in recovery through a 12-Step fellowship.
The Lord is my sponsor, I shall not want.
He makes me to go to many meetings.
He leads me to sit back, relax, and listen with an open mind, He restores my soul, my sanity, and my health.
He leads me in the path of sobriety, serenity, and fellowship for my own sake.
He teaches me to think, to take it easy, to live and let live, and do first things first.
He makes me more humble and grateful.
He teaches me to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and gives me the wisdom to know the difference.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of despair, frustration, guilt, and remorse, I will fear no evil.
For Thou are with me, your program, your way of life, your twelve steps, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: rationalization. fear, anxiety, self-pity, resentment.
You anoint my confused mind and jangled nerves with knowledge, understanding and hope.
No longer am I alone, neither am I afraid, nor sicken, nor helpless, nor hopeless.
My cups runs over,
Surely sobriety and serenity shall follow me every day of my life, one day at a time, twenty-four hours at a time.
As I surrender my will to You and carry Your message to others, I will dwell in the house of Higher Power, as I understand him, one day at a time, forever and ever.
Amen
--Author Unknown
Alateen is part of Al-Anon, which helps families and friends of alcoholics recover from the effects of living with the problem drinking of a relative or friend. Alateen is a recovery program for young people. Alateen groups are sponsored by Al-Anon members.
The program of recovery is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based upon the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and the Twelve Concepts of Service.
The only requirement of membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
Al-Anon/Alateen is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity.
What Alateen members learn
 | Alateen: Hope for Children of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Group Head Inc Read more about this title... |
Affirmations for the Inner Child
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself