Thursday, January 31, 2008

Straight Sex is best Sex

Have vaginal orgasm and be happy

Having a penis-vaginal orgasm rather than just clitoral stimulation or masturbation results in a better life.

Researchers studied over 1,200 women in Sweden and found that vaginal orgasm resulted in greater satisfaction with sex life, mental health, relationships with partners and friends, and life in general. Additionally these women had greater sexual desire and less recent masturbation.

Better sex life was also associated with their first sexual orgasm being from intercourse rather than masturbation.

Vaginal orgasms were not the result of partner masturbation or cunnilingus.

It seems that straight sex, penis - vagina is still the best sex. Other ways of having an orgasm, at least for women, are OK but not as satisfying.

Stuart Brody, Vaginal orgasm is associated with better psychological function. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, Volume 22, Issue 2 May 2007 , pages 173 - 191

What do you think?

See also;

          The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensable Resource for Pleasure and Seduction
by Barbara Keesling

Read more about this title...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Twelve Steps


  1. We admitted we were powerless over sex and love addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to sex and love addicts, and to practice these principles in all areas of our lives.

Reprinted for Adaptation by Permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

S.L.A.A. Preamble

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition-oriented fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous.

The only qualification for S.L.A.A. membership is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. S.L.A.A. is supported entirely through the contributions of its membership, and is free to all who need it.

To counter the destructive consequences of sex and love addiction we draw on five major resources:

  • Sobriety. Our willingness to stop acting out in our own personal bottom-line addictive behavior on a daily basis.
  • Sponsorship / Meetings. Our capacity to reach out for the supportive fellowship within S.L.A.A.
  • Steps. Our practice of the Twelve Step program of recovery to achieve sexual and emotional sobriety.
  • Service. Our giving back to the S.L.A.A. community what we continue to freely receive.
  • Spirituality. Our developing a relationship with a Power greater than ourselves which can guide and sustain us in recovery.

As a fellowship S.L.A.A. has no opinion on outside issues and seeks no controversy. S.L.A.A. is not affiliated with any other organizations, movements or causes, either religious or secular.

We are, however, united in a common focus: dealing with our addictive sexual and emotional behavior. We find a common denominator in our obsessive/compulsive patterns which renders any personal differences of sexual or gender orientation irrelevant.

We need protect with special care the anonymity of every S.L.A.A. member. Additionally, we try to avoid drawing undue attention to S.L.A.A. as a whole from the public media.

Go to; Sex and Love Addicts

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? - Second Edition

Is It Love or Is It Addiction? - Second Edition

See also; Sexually Compulsive

Alcoholism is a disease of the family.


Not only is there a significant genetic component that is passed from generation to generation, but the drinking problems of a single family member affect all other family members. The family environment and genetics can perpetuate a vicious and destructive cycle.

Many marriages break up over a husband’s or wife’s drinking. Domestic violence typically erupts when one or both spouses have been drinking, and drinking makes domestic violence more dangerous.

Families play a critical role in recovery from alcoholism. They can be instrumental in encouraging a family member with alcoholism to seek treatment. Strong family support also increases the chances for successful recovery.

Alcoholism and Problem Drinking - Pervasive in Family Life

  • More than half of adults have a close family member who has had alcoholism or is still dealing with alcoholism.
  • Approximately one in four children younger than 18 is exposed to alcoholism or problem drinking in the family.

A Factor in Many Serious Family Problems

Separated and divorced men and women are three times as likely to say their spouse was alcoholic or had a drinking problem than men and women who are still married.

Some 75 percent of husbands or wives who abuse their spouses have been drinking prior to or at the time of the abuse.

Women who have heavy drinking husbands or partners are at higher risk for developing their own drinking problems.

Each year between 1,200-8,800 babies are born with the physical signs and intellectual disabilities associated with fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), and thousands more experience the somewhat lesser disabilities of fetal alcohol effects. FAS is the leading preventable cause of mental retardation in the United States.

Children of alcoholics are at high risk for developing problems with alcohol and other drugs; they often do poorly at school, live with pervasive tension and stress, have high levels of anxiety and depression and experience coping problems.

Underage Drinking Challenges American Youth

First use of alcohol typically begins around age 13. By their senior year, 64 percent of high school students say they have been drunk at least once; 33 percent say they have been drunk in the past month.

Among teenagers between the ages of 12 and 17 who say they drink heavily (five or more drinks on five or more occasions in the past month); 77 percent had at least one serious problem related to drinking in the past year; 63 percent had built up tolerance to the effects of alcohol; 20 percent reported psychological problems related to their drinking; 12 percent reported health problems related to their drinking.

Teenagers who drink heavily are more likely to cut class or skip school, perform poorly in school, take sexual risks, and commit suicide. Heavy drinking increases the likelihood of delinquent and violent behavior including running away from home, fighting, vandalizing property, stealing and getting arrested.

Attitudes in the Home Influence Youth Drinking

Even in families where alcoholism isn’t present, permissive attitudes about alcohol can have a profound impact on youth. Though far more kids drink than use illicit drugs, parents are more likely to excuse getting drunk as a “rite of passage.” Unless a car is involved, some just don’t take it seriously.

Parents who drink and who have favorable attitudes about alcohol encourage children to start drinking and to keep drinking.

Drinking by older siblings can influence the alcohol use of younger siblings, particularly for same-sex siblings.

From; Alcohol and The Family

See ‘How to Help an Alcoholic at

Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Relapse Prevention

Relapse prevention the Alcoholics Anonymous way is proactive action.

One form of these strategies is The AA Six Pack, which says;

  1. Don’t Drink

  2. Go to meetings

  3. Ask for help

  4. Get a sponsor

  5. Join a home group

  6. Get active (in the program)

These are practiced so as to ensure immunity, an insurance policy against the first drink.

Family, friends and counselors can encourage people to adhere to this plan.

AA says;

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, …

Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely (AA, pp 58).

Half measures availed us nothing (AA, pp 59).

Another AA informal catchphrase is; ‘Ring, before you drink’ indicating one should phone ones peer sponsor before picking up the first drink.

Tools of Recovery

These are some of the main tools used by AA members to achieve and maintain sobriety.

  • Meetings: Meetings are the main place where patients learn how the program works and share their experiences, strengths and hope with others. Clients learn in meetings that their struggles and troubles are not unique, and gain the hope and assurance that they can recover and grow.

  • Sharing at meetings: Clients being honest and vulnerable in front of peers is frightening but worth it. Many believe that recovery in direct proportion to their willingness to share at meetings.

  • Telephoning: Advise patients to use the phone to contact members of AA between meetings.

  • Support system: Encourage clients to meet with other AA members over coffee to discuss their program so that they can learn that they are not alone and also allows them to get another perspective on their problems.

  • Reading and working the steps: Encourage patients to read AA literature, especially the Big Book, to better understand and work the program.

  • Sponsorship: Advise clients to ask others for help, including their AA sponsor as well as other members in the Program.

  • Balancing: To maintain and help build balance in their lives, help clients to understand that working at relationships with people other than AA members will enhance recovery.

  • Reading daily meditations: Many recovering alcoholics read a mediation book with breakfast each day to help keep the focus on recovery. The AA book ‘Daily Reflections’ or ‘One Day at a Time’ are recommended.

From the BriefTSF education manuals.

See also;

          A Hole in the Sidewalk: The Recovering Person's Guide to Relapse Prevention
by Claudia Black

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The 23rd Psalm for Alcoholism / Addiction Recovery

Suitable for members of Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, Alateen, ACOA, Naranon, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous and anybody in recovery through a 12-Step fellowship.

The Lord is my sponsor, I shall not want.

He makes me to go to many meetings.

He leads me to sit back, relax, and listen with an open mind, He restores my soul, my sanity, and my health.

He leads me in the path of sobriety, serenity, and fellowship for my own sake.

He teaches me to think, to take it easy, to live and let live, and do first things first.

He makes me more humble and grateful.

He teaches me to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and gives me the wisdom to know the difference.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of despair, frustration, guilt, and remorse, I will fear no evil.

For Thou are with me, your program, your way of life, your twelve steps, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: rationalization. fear, anxiety, self-pity, resentment.

You anoint my confused mind and jangled nerves with knowledge, understanding and hope.

No longer am I alone, neither am I afraid, nor sicken, nor helpless, nor hopeless.

My cups runs over,

Surely sobriety and serenity shall follow me every day of my life, one day at a time, twenty-four hours at a time.

As I surrender my will to You and carry Your message to others, I will dwell in the house of Higher Power, as I understand him, one day at a time, forever and ever.


--Author Unknown

Thursday, January 17, 2008

12-Step Based Treatment has Higher Success and Lower costs


Over 2 years 50% of 12-Step treated addicted people were clean and sober. In contrast only 37% of non-12-Step based addicts were clean and sober.

Additionally, 12-Step treatment cost 30% less in healthcare fees.

Accumulating evidence indicates that addiction and psychiatric treatment programs that actively promote self-help group involvement can reduce their patients’ health care costs in the first year after treatment. But such initially impressive effects may wane over time.

The researchers examined whether the higher success and reduced health care costs obvious at 1 year after treatment were maintained at 2-year after treatment began. They were!

The 12-step–based programs placed substantially more emphasis on;

  • 12-step concepts,
  • had more staff members "in recovery,"
  • had a more spiritually oriented treatment environment, and
  • promoted self-help group involvement much more extensively than did the other programs.

The 2-year follow-up assessed patients’ substance use, psychiatric functioning, self-help group affiliation, and mental health care utilization and costs.

The researchers concluded that,

“Promoting self-help group involvement appears to improve treatment success while reducing the costs of continuing care. Even cost offsets that somewhat diminish over the long term can yield substantial savings.

Actively promoting self-help group involvement may therefore be a useful clinical practice for helping addicted patients recover in a time of constrained fiscal resources.”

Reference; Keith Humphreys, Rudolf H. Moos (2007) Encouraging Posttreatment Self-Help Group Involvement to Reduce Demand for Continuing Care Services: Two-Year Clinical and Utilization Outcomes Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research 31 (1), 64–68.

Recovery Bloggers Comments; Its obvious that if your chances of successful recovery are better then 12-Step treatment is the obvious choice. But, if you have little money or no healthcare insurance then 12-Step treatment is also better.

See also;

          Alcohol, Smoking, Tranquilisers: a self-help guide to quiting dependancy, combining orthodox and complementary approaches to health
by Hasnain & Kingston, Andrea Walji

Read more about this title...

Recovery Is Sexy Top 50 Articles December 2007


12-Step Speaker Tape Links

12-Step Treatment More Effective than Alternatives

A Program of Action

AA and Al-anon Comics

About Recovery Is Sexy .com

Abusive relationship?

Aggressive Sexual Behaviour of Alcoholic

Alcohol and Sexuality

Alcohol Related Brain Injury

Alcohol side effects

Alcoholic Family Roles

Are you enabling your loved one’s alcohol or drug problem

Bored to Death or Depression - Alcoholism

Can alcoholism be cured?

Cannabis and mental health

Character Defects

Character Defects

Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics

Characteristics of the Alcoholic Family

Choc Chip Cookies

Daily Reprieve

Denial Makes the World Go Round

Depression versus Anxiety

Detox from Alcohol and Smoking Together

Dysfunctional family

Emotional Sobriety

Hep C Factsheet

How benzodiazepines Made me Sick

I am a Cocaine Addict

I’m not an Alcoholic!

I'm a 15 year Old Alcoholic in AA

Is alcoholism inherited?

Is my lover an alcoholic?

Male and Female Condoms

Masculine Grief is Different

Narcotics Anonymous

Native American traditions and AA

Older sex - less but still great

Our Wounded Spirits

Personal Stories of Recovery

Porn Addiction


Sensual Massage

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

Sex partners - How do you rate?

Sex relations



Stages in the Alcoholic Family

Straight sex is best sex.

The Sexual G-spot, Male and Female

The Six Mistakes of Man by Cicero

Want to Stop Drinking – Watch this

What can you do for your alcoholic? Suggestion 10


What is codependency?

Why Men Have Sex

Why Women Have Sex

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

12 Steps of Alcoholics Victorious with Biblical References


1 - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol ... that our lives had become unmanageable.

"I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (Romans 7:18)

2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

"... my grace is sufficient for you, for my POWER is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) ..for it God Who works in you to will and act according to His good purpose.. (Phil. 2:13)

3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of GOD as we understood Him.

"... If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23**)

4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

"Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord." (Lamentations 3:40)

5 - Admitted to GOD, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." (James 5:16)

6 - Were entirely ready to have GOD remove all these defects of character.

"If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land." (Isaiah 1:19)

7 - Humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." (James 4:10)

8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23, 24**)

9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Give and it shall be given you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Luke 6:38**)

10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith GOD has given you." (Romans 12:3)

11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with GOD as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will, and the power to carry that out.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." (Psalm 19:14) "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly..." (Col. 3:16)

12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all our affairs.

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:1-2)

Alcoholics Victorious

Founded in 1948, Alcoholics Victorious support groups offer a safe environment where recovering people who recognize Jesus Christ as their "Higher Power" gather together and share their experience, strength and hope. AV meetings use both the 12 Steps and the Alcoholics Victorious Creed.

Contact; Alcoholics Victorious

          Celebrate Recovery Bible: New International Version

Read more about this title...

Saturday, January 12, 2008

’Roid rage, depression and suicide


Some of the damage from steroids is irreversible, doctor says

Suspicions of steroid use are clouding Major League Baseball at the start of its season, but a bigger problem than the image of the national pastime is the health impact of anabolic steroids on adolescents, a University of Michigan addiction expert says.

Brower cautions that young people may think steroids are safe when they hear of their sports idols taking them. In reality, the risks of steroid use can include serious and irreversible physical effects, as well as mental perils such as severe depression, suicidal thoughts and behaviors, and violent aggression, known as “’roid rage.”

He notes that suicide is the third-leading cause of death among people ages 15-24. “This is an age group that is already at high risk,” says Brower, associate professor of psychiatry at UMHS. “When you add steroids, you are increasing the risk of suicide.”

Although the actual rate of adverse psychiatric effects is difficult to measure, he notes that studies have found higher rates of psychiatric effects among weight-training users of steroids than comparable non-users. Brower, who recently testified at a highly publicized congressional hearing about anabolic steroid use, says the drugs can worsen the usual degree of psychological upset during adolescence.

“It can be difficult to detect when adolescents or young athletes are using steroids, so parents and coaches need to know what to look for,” he says. “One of the reasons it can be difficult is because some of the things that you see, such as mood swings and weight gain, are things that you would expect to see in adolescents.”

How can you tell if the mood swings, weight gain and acne are just part of growing up, or if they are related to steroid use?

Brower says to watch for intense dietary regimens that go along with frequent and prolonged periods of weight training.

“People become very focused on how often they need to work out, how much they need to work out, how much they eat, what kinds of foods they need to eat,” he says, “and they may even get irritable when they’re not able to do those things.”

Some warning signs should prompt parents to seek professional help for their kids, such as

  • when they become aggressive or violent with friends, family or strangers;
  • when they aren’t eating or sleeping;
  • when parents discover their children are hanging around with other kids who are doing drugs; or
  • when they are talking about suicide.

Some of the physical signs of steroid use include male-pattern baldness in men, the growth of facial hair and deepened voice in women, marked acne, oily skin, and injection marks over large muscle groups such as shoulders, thighs and buttocks. Steroids also cause a shrinking of testicles in men, and the appearance of sex organs in women to become more male-like.

The fact that a national spotlight has been shining on steroid use among well-known baseball players complicates the message, Brower says. Even if young people hear about the harmful effects of using the drugs, they see images of the famous athletes accused of steroid use - athletes who are wealthy and who appear healthy.

“We like our sports heroes because they’re celebrities, they’re famous, they look well, they perform well,” Brower says. “And when that becomes associated with anabolic steroids, it adds to the positive image of steroids.”

Steering young people away from using steroids is especially difficult not just because their sports idols may use them, but also because anabolic steroids are very easy for adolescents to get, Brower says.

Facts about anabolic steroids:

Steroids can lead to depression and can be addictive.

Side effects of steroids can include:

  • tears of muscles and tendons;
  • acne;
  • liver damage;
  • mood swings and
  • aggressive behavior;
  • shrinkage in the size of testicles;
  • loss of the ability to get erections;
  • a decreased sperm count;
  • an increase in men’s breast size;
  • high blood pressure;
  • abnormal cholesterol levels;
  • jaundice;
  • male-pattern baldness in men and women; and
  • the growth of facial hair in women.

Anabolic steroids are synthetic drugs similar to the male hormone testosterone. They sometimes are prescribed by doctors to treat men who can’t make enough testosterone naturally or to increase weight in people with some problems or disorders, such as AIDS.

Anabolic steroids were developed in the late 1930s primarily to treat hypogonadism, in which the testes do not produce enough testosterone, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

A University of Michigan Health Minute update.

See also;

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The 12 Steps as Ego Deflating Devices


What does Surrender Mean?

For reasons still obscure, the program and the fellowship of AA could cause a surrender which in turn would lead to a period of no drinking. It became ever more apparent that in everyone’s psyche there existed an unconquerable ego which bitterly opposed any thought of defeat. Until that ego was somehow reduced or rendered ineffective, no likelihood of surrender could be anticipated.

AA, still very much in its infancy [1940], was celebrating a third or fourth anniversary of one of the groups. The speaker immediately preceding me told in detail of the efforts of his local group-which consisted of two men-to get him to dry up and become its third member. After several months of vain efforts on their part and repeated nose dives on his, the speaker went on to say: "Finally, I got cut down to size and have been sober ever since," a matter of some two or three years. When my turn came to speak, I used his phrase "cut down to size" as a text around which to weave my remarks. Before long, out of the corner of my eye, I became conscious of a disconcerting stare. It was coming from the previous speaker.

It was perfectly clear: He was utterly amazed that he had said anything which made sense to a psychiatrist. The incident showed that two people, one approaching the matter clinically and the other relying on his own intuitive report of what had happened to him, both came up with exactly the same observation: the need for ego reduction. It is common knowledge that a return of the full-fledged ego can happen at any time. Years of sobriety are no insurance against its resurgence. No AA’s, regardless of their veteran status, can ever relax their guard against a reviving ego.

The function of surrender in AA is now clear. It produces that stopping by causing the individual to say, "I quit. I give up on my headstrong ways. I’ve learned my lesson." Very often for the first time in that individual’s adult career, he has encountered the necessary discipline that halts him in his headlong pace. Actually, he is lucky to have within him the capacity to surrender. It is that which differentiates him from the wild animals. And this happens because we can surrender and truly feel, "Thy will, not mine, be done."

Unfortunately, that ego will return unless the individual learns to accept a disciplined way of life, which means the tendency toward ego comeback is permanently checked.

This is not news to AA members. They have learned that a single surrender is not enough. Under the wise leadership of the AA "founding fathers" the need for continued endeavor to maintain that miracle has been steadily stressed. The Twelve Steps urge repeated inventories, not just one, and the Twelfth Step is in itself a routine reminder that one must work at preserving sobriety. Moreover, it is referred to as Twelfth Step work-which is exactly what it is. By that time, the miracle is for the other person.

-Dr. Harry M. Tiebout, M.D.

See also;

Saturday, January 5, 2008



The following questions may help you determine whether marijuana is a problem in your life.

  1. Has smoking pot stopped being fun?
  2. Do you ever get high alone?
  3. Is it hard for you to imagine a life without marijuana?
  4. Do you find that your friends are determined by your marijuana use?
  5. Do you smoke marijuana to avoid dealing with your problems?
  6. Do you smoke pot to cope with your feelings?
  7. Does your marijuana use let you live in a privately defined world?
  8. Have you ever failed to keep promises you made about cutting down or controlling your dope smoking?
  9. Has your use of marijuana caused problems with memory, concentration, or motivation?
  10. When your stash is nearly empty, do you feel anxious or worried about how to get more?
  11. Do you plan your life around your marijuana use?
  12. Have friends or relatives ever complained that your pot smoking is damaging your relationship with them?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you may have a problem with marijuana.

From; Marijuana Anonymous

What About This Spiritual Awakening Thing?