Monday, October 22, 2007

Detachment from the Alcoholic


The following recommendation comes from Al-Anon Family Groups.

"Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone else’s drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help.

"In Al-Anon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person’s disease or recovery from it.

"We let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights; lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves.

"In Al-Anon we learn

  • Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people.
  • Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another’s recovery.
  • Not to do for others what they can do for themselves.
  • Not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink.
  • Not to cover for anyone’s mistakes or misdeeds.
  • Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events.

"Detachment is neither kind or unkind. It does not imply judgment or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. It simply a means that allows us to separate ourselves from the adverse effects that another person’s alcoholism can have on our lives.

"Detachment helps families look at their situations realistically and objectively, thereby making intelligent decisions possible.


"To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means ’I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off,
its the realization I can’t control another human.

To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,
Which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it’s to make the most of myself

To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To let go is not to be protective,
it’s to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to criticize or regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is to fear less, and to love more."


          How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics
by Al-Anon Family Group Head Inc

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