What’s Your Greatest Asset? Strengths of an ACoA
Amy Eden writes about the assets of ACOA’s.
“I don’t know about you, but I sometimes feel exasperated with the emphasis on problems tied to being the offspring of alcoholics.
Today I need to hear the B side of the record, to think about our other characteristics.”
Here are her first five assets of ACOA’s.
Full post at Guess What Normal Is.
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An official Al-anon MP3 website
For those who don't know or have never heard of Al-anon, it is a 12-step recovery program that is the counter-part to the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step recovery program. It was initiated by Lois Wilson (the wife of Bill Wilson; one of the original founders of Alcoholics Anonymous) as a safe haven and support group for anyone who is dealing with a loved ones alcoholism (and/or drug addiction)
I have been attending Al-anon meetings for 20 years and came away from my first meeting thinking..."What a bunch of losers, as well as... I heard some interesting things here."
As a professional family substance abuse counselor, I encourage my clients to attend Al-anon and find out if it is something they wish to incorporate in their recovery. Some swear by it, others are shunned.
I have compiled a list of 16 opinions; 8 hip-hip hooray! 8 bah humbug!
See these at; The Huffington Post
Also see; Thank you and I invite you to visit my website at www.familyrecoverysolutions.com
Many articles have proved very popular over the last few years. These are the most popular.
Documentary gives children of addicts a voice
Children in homes in which parents use illegal drugs live in the shadows. They often are abused, neglected or become users themselves. A documentary by local filmmaker Susan Reetz is bringing their lives into the light.
Reetz released "Living in Shadows: The Innocent Victims of Meth" in September, hoping to raise awareness of the issues children face living in a home where illegal drugs are used. That life was brought into focus last week when three children were removed from a home in Schofield where drugs reportedly were present.
Reetz interviewed children, parents and grandparents who have been affected by drug use. They talk about emotional and physical neglect, sexual abuse, violence and living with drugs.
"A lot of people don't realize what kids go through when their parents are using, making and selling meth," Reetz said. "It's so prevalent in our community, and we want to sweep it under the rug. The only way we can make a difference is if our community is better informed."
Full story at The Daily Herald
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I can never drink again. I am an alcoholic. Alcohol temporarily fills a hole inside me when I am feeling incomplete or unhappy. I have been sober for a few months, but could very easily get lost into it again if I were to re-indulge in that escape. Alcohol doesn’t fix my problems, but just temporarily numbs my conscious mind of acknowledging them. They will stay there. A fifth of vodka will only offer temporary relief.
Full story at Daily Nexus
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The Nar-Anon Family Groups are a worldwide fellowship for those affected by someone else’s addiction. As a Twelve-Step Program, we offer our help by sharing our experience, strength, and hope.
Nar-Anon’s Purpose
Nar-Anon is a twelve-step program designed to help relatives and friends of addicts recover from the effects of living with an addicted relative or friend. Nar-Anon’s program of recovery uses Nar-Anon’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. The only requirement to be a member and attend Nar-Anon meetings is that there is a problem of drugs or addiction in a relative or friend. Nar-Anon is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity.
Contact; Nar-Anon
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April 5, 2007 -
• “If I could have stayed cool, I’d still be drinking. Very quickly, though, I started getting into trouble. Going to sixth grade got in the way of my life, which consisted of getting drunk as much as possible.” [After rehab] “I was going to A.A. meetings. Everyone was older, even most of the kids at the young people meetings. But I found that alcoholics understand other alcoholics. . . . Regardless of how young or old or ‘special’ I am, in A.A. I’m just a drunk.” Tina, who joined A.A. at 13
• “I loved drinking and was as addicted to the lies, the shady people and places as I was to the alcohol. My grades suffered until I stopped going to school altogether. . . . I found myself in places without any idea of how I had gotten there. I overdosed on alcohol.” Since coming to A.A., “I have been given an opportunity to grow up with the Twelve Steps in my life. It is with utmost gratitude that I have just celebrated my 19th year of continuous sobriety.” Kevin, who joined A.A. at 14
NEW YORK CITY-Tina and Kevin are two of the 19 very young alcoholics who relate their experience as recovering alcoholics in a revised pamphlet just released by Alcoholics Anonymous: “Young People and A.A.” Eight recollections by early teen and preteen alcoholics are included in the new edition, which also contains most of the original stories by alcoholics 25 and under.
The young A.A.s speak candidly about their preconceived notions of A.A. and what happened when they stepped tentatively into their first meetings. As Nicole, who sobered up at 14, says, “I knew A.A. held the solution to alcoholism. What I didn’t know was that anyone old enough to have a problem is old enough to seek help from A.A.”
Since the Fellowship began in 1935, the age of new members has constantly dropped. A.A. groups for young people began appearing as early as 1945 in Los Angeles, Cleveland and Philadelphia, and now can be found across the United States and Canada. Today approximately 10 percent of A.A. members are under 30.
In reaching out to young alcoholics, A.A. offers them a variety of special literature and audiovisual material, mainly available in Spanish and French as well as English. The stories help the young newcomer to A.A. understand that an alcoholic can “hit bottom” without going through 20-plus years of drinking, never mind the loss of family, friends and financial stability. Through identification with the recovery stories of people their own age, they learn they never have to feel so alone and frightened again-and can lead comfortable, happy, even exciting lives in sobriety.
Among other A.A. pamphlets that speak directly to young people are three in comic-book format: “Too Young,” in which teenagers aged 13 to 18 share their drinking stories; the newly revised “It Happened to Alice,” geared to young female alcoholics; and “What Happened to Joe,” which tells the story of a young construction worker on the edge of alcoholic self-destruction. A counterpoint to the pamphlet “Young People and A.A.” is the 28-minute video of the same name in which four young A.A. members tell the stories of their drinking and recovery in A.A., with closed captions for the deaf and hard-of-hearing.
To obtain a copy of the pamphlet “Young People and A.A.” or other A.A. literature and service material, call your local A.A. Intergroup or Central Office. For further information about A.A. publicinfo@aa.org
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The Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous
Permission to use the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous for adaptation granted by AA World Services, Inc.
OA Program of Recovery
Overeaters Anonymous offers a program of recovery from compulsive overeating using the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of OA. Worldwide meetings and other tools provide a fellowship of experience, strength and hope where members respect one another’s anonymity. OA charges no dues or fees; it is self-supporting through member contributions.
Unlike other organizations, OA is not just about weight loss, obesity or diets; it addresses physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. It is not a religious organization and does not promote any particular diet. To address weight loss, OA encourages members to develop a food plan with a health care professional and a sponsor. If you want to stop your compulsive eating, welcome to Overeaters Anonymous.
Contact; Overeaters Anonymous
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A family with an alcohol in its midst will go through several stages in dealing with the chaos and disruption caused by the alcoholic. These stages are described below in order of appearance.
Denial: Early in the development of alcoholism, occasional episodes of excessive drinking are explained away by both marriage partners. Drinking because of tiredness, worry, or a bad day is not unbelievable. The assumption is that the episode is isolated and is, therefore, not a problem.
Attempts to Eliminate the Problem:The non-alcoholic spouse realizes that the drinking is not normal and tries to pressure the alcoholic to quit, be more careful, or cut down. At the same time, the spouse tries to hide the problems from the outside and keep up a good.front. Children may start to have problems in response to the family stress.
Disorganization and Chaos: The family balance is beginning to break down. The spouse can no longer pretend everything is okay and spends most of the time going from crisis to crisis. Financial problems are not unusual. At this point the spouse is likely to seek outside help.
Reorganization in Spite of the Problem: The spouse’s coping abilities have become strengthened. He or she gradually assumes a larger share of the responsibility for the family. This may mean getting a job or taking over the finances. Rather than focusing on getting the alcoholic to shape up, the spouse is now taking charge and tries to foster family life, despite the alcoholism.
Efforts to Escape: Separation or divorce may be attempted. If the family remains intact, the family continues living around the alcoholic.
Family Reorganization: In the case of separation, family reorganization occurs without the alcoholic member. If the alcoholic achieves sobriety, a reconciliation may take place. Either way, both partners must realign their roles within the family and make new adjustments.
Recovery; Can occur at any stage provided there is compassion, empathy and understanding by key family members.
BriefTSF can help the understanding and set up the right conditions for recovery to begin.
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Partner’s Criticism Linked to Relapse
A new study published in Behavior Therapy apparently confirms that Al-Anon’s purpose of offering "understanding and encouragement" to those with drinking problems is best approach family members can take in dealing with the situation.
The study, conducted by William Fals-Stewart of the State University of New York at Buffalo, found that men recovering from substance abuse are less successful if they believe their spouse or partner is critical of them, rather than supportive.
The study found that of 106 married men studied, those who reported greater criticism from their partners were more likely to have relapsed, regardless of the severity of their drug problem, age or race.
Al-Anon is a support groups for those who are affected by someone else’s drinking. In the "preamble" which is read at most Al-Anon meetings, it says:
"Compared to treatments for substance abuse that do not involve spouses, individuals who get couples treatment have much better outcomes -- less drug use, fewer arrests, greater likelihood to remain abstinent from drugs," Fals-Stewart told Reuters.
Other findings of the study include:
Fals-Stewart said relapses themselves may increase criticism from a spouse, who may be especially disappointed by the failure of treatment.
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The Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) program for beating alcohol addiction has a long history and has helped millions of people around the world back to health.
It works as a 12-step program - the Steps being the program of the system which guide the user away from their dysfunctional relationship with drink. The 12-steps involve belief in and surrender to a ’higher’ power which the AA people always stress need not be a formal ’God’. So does the 12-step approach work for those who are not religious?
Researchers at the Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Addiction Program studied a group of 227 alcoholics. Those enrolled in a 12-step program like Alcoholics Anonymous did better than those who did not. It is the camaraderie and support you get in the 12-step program that likely provides the benefit, the researchers say.
Source; Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research August 2006
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 | Cool Water: Alcoholism, Mindfulness, and Ordinary Recovery by William Alexander Read more about this title... |
 | The Recovery Book by Arlene Eisenberg, Howard Eisenberg, Al J. Mooney Read more about this title... |
In a codependent-alcoholic relationship, individual human rights are not respected, and this is the primary devastating factor to families dealing with alcoholism. This article outlines a code of basic human rights applicable to the non-alcoholic.
You and your children have:
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Spiritual Connections: How to Find Spirituality Throughout All the Relationships in Your Life
This series of questions may help you determine if you are a compulsive overeater. Many members of Overeaters Anonymous have found that they have answered yes to many of these questions.
Do you eat when you’re not hungry?
Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?
Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after overeating?
Do you give too much time and thought to food?
Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?
Do you plan these secret binges ahead of time?
Do you eat sensibly before others and make up for it alone?
Is your weight affecting the way you live your life?
Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer), only to fall short of your goal?
Do you resent others telling you to "use a little willpower" to stop overeating?
Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet "on your own" whenever you wish?
Do you crave to eat at a definite time, day or night, other than mealtime?
Do you eat to escape from worries or trouble?
Have you ever been treated for obesity or a food-related condition?
Does your eating behavior make you or others unhappy?
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Men have a four times greater chance of being an alcoholic if their fathers are alcoholic. That’s been known for a long time.
Now we know that women also can inherit alcoholic genes.
A long held myth is that women’s conditioning as women is more likely to protect some of them from developing alcoholism even though they have parents who are alcoholic.
Also, twins who have an alcoholic identical twin are much more likely to be alcoholic themselves than are twins who had an alcoholic fraternal twin (from different eggs). This is equally true in women and in men.
More surprisingly, men who have an alcoholic twin sister have very high rates of alcoholism.
It has also been found that women with an alcoholic identical twin sister are six times more likely to be alcohol dependent than other women.
Nonidentical twins, who are not more alike genetically than ordinary sisters, are three times more likely to be alcohol dependent if their twin had a drinking problem.
"It used to be believed that depression predicted increased risk of alcohol problems in women, whereas a history of childhood behavior problems predicted alcoholism risk in men.
We found that depression is a potent predictor for alcohol dependence in both men and women," said Heath, one of the researchers. "A history of behavior problems also is as strong a predictor in women than in men -- slightly more powerful in women, in fact."
Heath hopes the study will serve as a warning sign for women who know they have alcoholic relatives. "Our hope is that our research will refocus attention on alcohol problems in women, particularly women at genetic risk with relatively mild alcohol problems that often go undetected by families and physicians," he said.
"Often, these people don’t get treatment -- until it is too late. Despite what people used to believe about differences in the causes of alcoholism in women and men, it is the similarities rather than the differences that are most striking. As increasing numbers of young women drink heavily, rates of alcoholism in women are likely to increase."
Heath AC, Bucholz KK, Madden PAF, Dinwiddie SH, Slutske WS, Bierut LJ, Statham DJ, Dunne MP, Whitfield JB, Martin NG. "Genetic and Environmental Contributions to Alcohol Dependence Risk in a National Twin Sample -- Consistency of Findings in Women and Men". Psychological Medicine. 27(6):1381-1396, 1997 November.
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A pair of new studies adds weight to the theory that children who suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are at higher risk of problem drinking during adolescence and alcoholism later in life.
"Children with ADHD are believed to be at risk for alcoholism because of their impulsivity and distractibility, as well as other problems that often accompany ADHD such as school failure and behavior problems," said Brooke Molina of the University of Pittsburgh, corresponding author for both studies.
In one study, researchers found that 15- to 17-years olds with childhood ADHD reported being drunk an average of 14 times during the previous year, compared to 1.8 times for adolescents without ADHD. Fourteen percent of the ADHD group was classified as alcohol abusers or alcohol dependent, but none of the youths in the non-ADHD group were.
"It appears that one of the reasons for the past inconsistencies in research is that the ADHD-alcohol relationship does not become solid until at least mid-adolescence," said Stephen Hinshaw, professor and chair of the department of psychology at the University of California at Berkeley. "Later on, it may be that only a subset of kids with ADHD -- namely, those with more aggressive or antisocial behavior patterns -- are at risk by young adulthood."
Researchers added that parental alcoholism and family stress add to the alcoholism risk for children with ADHD. "One of the reasons that children with ADHD might be at risk for alcohol problems is that alcoholism and ADHD tend to run together in families," said Molina. "We found that parental alcoholism predicted heavy problem drinking among the teenagers, that the association was partly explained by higher rates of stress in these families, and these connections were stronger when the adolescent had ADHD in childhood. So, the bottom line is that when the child has ADHD and the parent has suffered from alcoholism, either currently or in the past, the child will have an increased risk for alcohol problems himself or herself."
The studies were published in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research.
References: Marshal, M.P. Molina, B.S.G., Pelham, W.E., Cheong, J. (2007) Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Moderates the Life Stress Pathway to Alcohol Problems in Children of Alcoholics. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 31(4): 564-574;
Molina, B.S.G., et al. (2007) Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Risk for Heavy Drinking and Alcohol Use Disorder Is Age Specific. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 31(4): 643-654;
The objective of this study in Canada was to examine the effects of sexual abuse on substance use patients’ presentation and course in treatment.
Consecutive admissions to an addictions service were assessed at intake and six-month follow-up. Assessments evaluated socio-demographic and psychiatric characteristics, addiction severity, and physical and/or sexual abuse histories.
Upon entering treatment, 23% reported prior sexual abuse with or without physical abuse.
Patients with a sexual abuse history had higher rates of psychological problems, stronger family histories of substance use disorders, and more impaired family relationships.
At six months, there were no differences between patients with and without sexual abuse histories in their response to treatment, or their utilization of treatment services.
Dara A. Charney; Jorge Palacios-Boix; Kathryn J. Gill, Sexual Abuse and the Outcome of Addiction Treatment. American Journal on Addictions, Volume 16, Issue 2 March 2007 , pages 93 - 100
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One model that is helpful in identifying child behaviors is that of Sharon Wegscheider (1981). In this model children adopt various coping and enabling roles.
The little caretaker role is often a carbon copy of the partner of the alcoholic. They take care of the alcoholic; getting drinks, cleaning up after the alcoholic and soothing over stressful situations and events. They are validated by approval for taking responsibility for the alcoholic and their Behaviour. This little person often goes on to become a partner of an alcoholic or other dysfunctional person if they do not get treatment.
The family hero role brings pride to the family by being successful at school or work. At home, the hero assumes the responsibilities that the enabling parent abdicates. By being overly involved in work or school, they can avoid dealing with the real problem at home and patterns of workaholism can develop. Although portraying the image of self-confidence and success, the hero may feel inadequate and experience the same stress-related symptoms as the enabler.
The scapegoat role diverts attention away from the chemically dependent person’s behavior by acting out their anger. Because other family members sublimate their anger, the scapegoat has no role model for healthy expression of this normal feeling. They become at high risk for self-destructive behaviors and may be hospitalized with a variety of traumatic injuries. Although all the children are genetically vulnerable to alcoholism, this child is often considered the highest risk because of their association with risk-taking activities and peers. Although tough and defiant, the scapegoat is also in pain.
The lost child role withdraws from family and social activities to escape the problem. Family members feel that they do not need to worry about them because they are quiet and appear content. They leave the family without departing physically by being involved with television, video games, or reading. These children do not bring attention to themselves, but also do not learn to interact with peers. Many clinicians have noted that bulimia is common in chemically dependent families and feel this child is prone to satisfy their pain through eating.
The family clown role brings comic relief to the family. Often the youngest child, they try to get attention by being cute or funny. With family reinforcement, their behavior continues to be immature and they may have difficulty learning in school.
See also;
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Alcohol & Other Drug Recovery
